Black People : Women and Children Homeless

Feather

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Sep 3, 2011
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Here's another elephant in the room.

How many men will voluntarily take care of the children of other men?
The answer is FEW.

It wouldn't be rational (in accordance with the principals of self-interest and personal material benefit), resources are scarce, and it is contrary to biological imperatives.
Cordially, I did not suggest men take care of other men's children. Women need to do what they have to do that they can live with to take care of themselves and not let anyone tell them different. "Oh I love you and I wanna take care of you"...NO!!!...has to be the answer because when she wants to move on or things get to where she wants to part ways or he may blow the whistle; she should not have to look for how she will survive. That just doesn't make sense but in the society we live in there is a large amount of people (not all) who say men are the "providers" and it is so not true. I feel those are men who want control and who are dominant perhaps. I had a man tell me my place is in the kitchen, men like that smh.
 

Feather

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Sep 3, 2011
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I did when I was young, dumb, and married. My household consisted of a wife and four kids, three of them not my biological kids, and I was the only one working. During that period, I was surprised to find out how many guys, yes even black guys, were doing it but you never heard about them because they did not walk around bragging about it. We just did it because we wanted to do it.

The men who are dogs have always been the ones who got all the publicity because they are the ones the women can't seem to stay away from and the ones who, after they leave a woman to raise their kids on her own, the women spend the rest of their lives punishing every other man for.

Something else to consider is that, with our laws being as they currently are, a man has a lot of compelling legal reasons to avoid _legal_ responsibility of kids that are not his. The last thing you wanna do is adopt another man's kids, end up divorced from their mama, but spending several more years paying child support to a woman who now hates you as well as the kid's biological father.
Kindly, consider this child whom most likely looks up to you and who has grown to love you though they are not closely from you they see you as the only man who has been around. I know a man who said he still has relationships with children of women he has had a relationship with because he loves the kids and understands the attachment the kids have and their vulnerable position in all the adult decisions. No one said you have to and no it is not the child's right but it would be highly admirable for a man to put his feelings aside and consider the child's feelings.

Further, I feel that men should not take interest in a woman if he doesn't love her children equally and if to him they are a burden rather than what you tend to out of sincere love and willingness. If a man adopts a child it is right for him to still take care of that child because he did legally accept the responsibility. It is not only about you and the mom, adoption is about you and the kid, you're not adopting the mom so when you leave her you cant leave that responsibility, so men should think before they involve kids especially kids who have already been through so much. Some men do things like that to I feel play the hero guy who takes on another mans kid but if he is really sincere I don't think he would ditch the kid because things don't work out. We also have to take responsibility for the women and men we choose and all the drama they bring, we brought this person into our life, it was all us.
 

Kemetstry

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Confusion about what reciprocal love feels like is not being stupid. If you want to discuss this matter seriously with the intent to help and be positive I think you should be more sympathetic if you can. No one is stupid. People see things differently and therefore react to life in different ways which I think is beautiful because if we all did the so called right thing all the time what would our world be like?


:bs: There are lots of stupid people out here. I have no sympathy for anyone that sticks their head in the sand and refuses to wise up. We see this waaaaay too often. Letting someone use you repeatedly isn't love. It isn't seeing things differently. Going thru life with your head in the sand, butt up and exposed, then complaining about that constant pain in your behind, is stupid. Stupidity has consequences





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Kemetstry

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ok well thats where you get more bees with honey than with lemons;) kill'em with kindness they'll come around. we can't give up on them. neglect hurts and i think it hardens their hearts:(


Killing a dawg with kindness gets you used more. You don't cast such pearls before swine





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Kemetstry

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Here's another elephant in the room.

How many men will voluntarily take care of the children of other men?
The answer is FEW.

It wouldn't be rational (in accordance with the principals of self-interest and personal material benefit), resources are scarce, and it is contrary to biological imperatives.

If you did a survey, you'll find that there aren't many women that want to do it either.





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Kadijah

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Apr 7, 2013
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I hadn't even considered that.

+1 to you.
I hope this is meant as sarcasm. :10500: Almost every woman I know would take in her man's kids and love them as her own, and should she and pops split, would continue the association with the kid. One of my old co-workers was saying that her son was disputing one of HIS sons by his ex-. The co-worker said she had loved that boy (about 7 at the time) all his life, he called her 'grannie' and that she would continue to send gifts, cards, etc. on special days... as well as spend time with him.... and love him as unconditionally as she did the children her son didn't "dispute." She added, somewhat embarrassed, 'after all, what if they got proof and he turned out to be her grandson all along and she had ignored him?' I asked her, grinning: "Well, what happens if he turns out NOT to your biological grandson?" She said sheepishly, "Doesn't matter. I love him."
 

Kemetstry

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I hope this is meant as sarcasm. :10500: Almost every woman I know would take in her man's kids and love them as her own, and should she and pops split, would continue the association with the kid. One of my old co-workers was saying that her son was disputing one of HIS sons by his ex-. The co-worker said she had loved that boy (about 7 at the time) all his life, he called her 'grannie' and that she would continue to send gifts, cards, etc. on special days... as well as spend time with him.... and love him as unconditionally as she did the children her son didn't "dispute." She added, somewhat embarrassed, 'after all, what if they got proof and he turned out to be her grandson all along and she had ignored him?' I asked her, grinning: "Well, what happens if he turns out NOT to your biological grandson?" She said sheepishly, "Doesn't matter. I love him."

Almost every woman I know say they don't want someone elses kids around. In fact, many in here have said as much






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Queenie

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Almost every woman I know say they don't want someone elses kids around. In fact, many in here have said as much






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Do you think that might be because sometimes the biological mother of the children creates 'drama' for the other woman? Especially if the mother's relationship with the man ended bitterly. What if there is some unresolved anger between the two? In situations like that, I think I would be hesitant to attempt to play a mother's role for the children.

What say you?
 

Kadijah

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Do you think that might be because sometimes the biological mother of the children creates 'drama' for the other woman? Especially if the mother's relationship with the man ended bitterly. What if there is some unresolved anger between the two? In situations like that, I think I would be hesitant to attempt to play a mother's role for the children.

What say you?
My assumption is that they're playing goose and gander here and that the child lives with the father and step-mother. Would you refuse your love to the child living in your home? If you felt inadequate, why would you marry the man in the first place? :10500:
 

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