Black Parenting : Why Whupping Your Kids Won’t Save Black America

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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Thanks everyone for sharing. It is a sensitvie subject in our community, but i really think we should talk about it more.
 

IFE

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Jan 20, 2015
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Thanks everyone for sharing. It is a sensitvie subject in our community, but i really think we should talk about it more.
The reason I'm sharing so much is to say those are the type of beatings the system was intended to stop. My parents were from a different era where those beatings were viewed as normal.
They were stuck in the slave master's mentality. Unfortunately, some of these type of beatings, my Dad (RIP Dad. Love you) used were passed down.
That's were and why the system became involved, instructing parents not to hit there kids.
 

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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I should have said. NO ONE in my neighbourhood (BACK THEN) snitched. The police were never called and, the lad that I hit lost his sight in one eye.
See Freddie, you were always more than a handful. LMAO

One can not say.... but a different parenting style possibly could have created a different Freddie LOL IDK. For instance, My Sister always wondered why her son behaved perfectly when i babysat him, yet stayed in trouble at home It was baffling.

But, I think when he was with me, he was just like "M".... He even competed with "M". It meant so much to him to win my smiles, and not my frowns. He just wanted me to express my happiness with his behavior. Tell him he was a good boy, compliment his creations, etc. That motivated him. He put all his effort in gaining praises. And, I never missed the opportunity to compliment him. He knew I wouldn't spank him, cuz i never spanked "M".

At home his Mom and Dad never celebrated his successes because "that was what he was supposed to do". But, they would light that @ss up at the inkling of something done wrong...almost daily.

There are so many ways to punish a child, to teach a lesson. I think whuppings are probably the easiest and quickest. But, the lesson learned is [don't do that or you will get whipped] instead of a deeper, long lasting lesson, like don't do that because it is the wrong thing to do, it has bad consequences.
 

Liberty

Banned
MEMBER
Aug 28, 2015
6,914
1,212
The reason I'm sharing so much is to say those are the type of beatings the system was intended to stop. My parents were from a different era where those beatings were viewed as normal.
They were stuck in the slave master's mentality. Unfortunately, some of these type of beatings, my Dad (RIP Dad. Love you) used were passed down.
That's were and why the system became involved, instructing parents not to hit there kids.
Thanks again for sharing. Good stuff, Ife.

You know, I think that is why my Dad never hit us. I think my Grandfather did the old school share-cropper beatings stuff, and Dad secretly vowed to never do that to his children.

I do believe that this is directly related to slavery. I would imagine that a parent would beat a child during slavery to save his life. And, now "we" have forgotten that it is no longer necessary.

I take insult that one would think that the only way to teach an AA child a lesson is to beat them as you would train a dog. (or a slave)

*smh*

Our children are born bright, alert, and intelligent. They are like sponges, hungry to learn the ways of the world. And, the first lesson they must learn is that the people that love them, will not hurt them when they make mistakes.

I came into this after observing my Sister, and taking Parenting Classes. I wasn't 100% sold. So, i always reserved the right to spank my child, if need be. But, he is a grown man now, and it never came to that. In fact, people always comment on how well he turned out, and ask how we managed.

Then I wonder... Maybe I just got lucky. Maybe if i had a different child, I would have had to resort to beatings, whuppings, etc. But, I'm bettting that I wouldn't.

Anyway, i encourage pregnant mothers to read child developmet books, take parenting classes, etc.

Oh, I had an inlaw who called me on the phone to tell me she had spanked her 3 month old son. I was very upset. I asked her why. She said it was because he wouldn't stop crying. I asked her if he stopped. Of course, the answer was no.

*smh*

I turned the problem over to my ex-husband. That was his family's problem.
 

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