Black Parenting : Why Do We Martyr Single Fathers But Demonize Single Mothers?

[Liberty]

I guess I didn't answer the original question either....sorry,lol! As far as demonizing single mothers...that's not my thing. If you wrong, you wrong....but I am not sure single mothers are demonized. Definitely not shown the same respect as men in the same situation...men are weaker when it comes to that,and alot of other things. My bad...I jumped into this thread half reading it.

No problem

*smile*

 

[rapunzal24]

Well, I never hear that kind of talk anywhere except on the internet. On the internet I have heard people say that women having children out of wedlock are the major cause of dysfunction in our communities, and things of that nature. I have also heard people say that the problem with BM today is that they were raised by women without a Father in the house. It has become a mantra. I find it confusing to blame the one who stayed and vindicate the one who abandoned the kid. It is backassward in my book. But, I have been reading these same sentiments on message boards for 15 years.

Other races have also experienced great increases of children born out of wedlock at the same time, but I have not heard of them scapegoating their women for there socio-economic issues before.

We as black people have a different...psychosis. Different circumstances that cause us to behave differently than others. There are very few men who will say this in real life,many may think it with certain caveats,but hey....they whack too. LOL!

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

mar·tyr
ˈmärdər/
noun

1. 1.
   a person who is killed because of their religious or other beliefs.
   "saints, martyrs, and witnesses to the faith"
   • 
     
     
   • 
     

verb

1. 1.
   kill (someone) because of their beliefs.
   "she was martyred for her faith"

 

[Kemetstry]

Lawdhamercy. Now, I know what kind of day it's gonna be.....
Is it a full moon or something??? I have to agree with Kem? CTFU

Seriously, I do think you describe perfectly the mindset of people who are falling all over themselves to help single Dads. And, I do think it is a good thing..... BUT.....unfortunately these same people (myself included before) have no idea how clueless first time Mom's actually can be.

Some first time Mom's may benefit from experiencing Motherhood secondhand by a relative, friend, etc. So, they have some practical experience. But, women aren't born with the knowledge of how many feedings a baby needs, how to diagnose an ear infection, or infantile colic, or the infinite other things that might ails you child. Nurturing, attentiveness and vibing do come natural, the rest you have to learn. I learned by researching and reading. The first newborn I ever held was my own.

The only clueless 1st time moms tend to be those that disconnected with their own mothers, aunts and grandmothers. The modern females thinks independence means not asking for obvious help. When you think about having a baby is the time to go to class. If mom was/is dysfunctional, seek professionals. I know that there are those with no network. But they don't have a clue because sense aint common. When I had mine, I asked the pro.s in my family.





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[Kemetstry]

Lawdhamercy. Now, I know what kind of day it's gonna be.....
Is it a full moon or something??? I have to agree with Kem? CTFU

Seriously, I do think you describe perfectly the mindset of people who are falling all over themselves to help single Dads. And, I do think it is a good thing..... BUT.....unfortunately these same people (myself included before) have no idea how clueless first time Mom's actually can be.

Some first time Mom's may benefit from experiencing Motherhood secondhand by a relative, friend, etc. So, they have some practical experience. But, women aren't born with the knowledge of how many feedings a baby needs, how to diagnose an ear infection, or infantile colic, or the infinite other things that might ails you child. Nurturing, attentiveness and vibing do come natural, the rest you have to learn. I learned by researching and reading. The first newborn I ever held was my own.

.o0( I knew I would convert you )





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