Black Relationships : Why do they stay....?

Kitana

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 17, 2001
1,312
7
under the sun
Kemetstry

Don't hate me cause I speak the truth. "....the sun only hurts your eyes because you've been in the darkness so long...."
all I can say to that is...don't leave the house without your shades.....

and stop putting words in my mouth and being sarcastic....I never said "women were all sugar and spice"....but as usual, to win the debate you will resort to your male chauvinistic tactics to make everything I say sound juvenile and silly....

well check out...

http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/05/17/intimate.violence.02/

and....

http://www.actabuse.com/dvstats_2.html#2

and then see if "your truth" really is truth....or is it "truth" only as you see it....

K
 

epiphany

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Destee, Kitana....

Destee, thats ok........I thank you again for stopping back.
Kitana... again, I appreciate you both for your comments.
Thanks Kitana, for the links......I wasn't surprised of the results.

As I read your post, I have a question for you two....
I have three sons and 4 brothers, if I knew my brothers
or sons were beating their women. They would not hear the
end of it from me.....I have stepped up many times, when I
felt my brothers were wrong, I didn't necessarily become
involved in the argument, but if you're wrong...you're wrong
and I gave them my opinion.
Which brings to mind my question, what about the
family members of the abusers who know their
siblings or sons are doing this yet....they do nothing?
Would you interfere if you had an abusive sibling or child?


Epiphany :heart:
 

Kitana

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 17, 2001
1,312
7
under the sun
to make it clearer for you

Kemetstry....

Kitana. Wrong dear. As a matter of fact there is 30 years of data supporting that women are equally abusive.
your words....not mine....

I said I thought women would be abused more by men than vice versa..and you replied with the words above....

the links I gave show otherwise....and don't twist my words around to support your opinion...

and you may submit all you like...I do not hate men..I happen to be married to one, the mother of two, the daughter of one and the sister to four and have a good relationship with all..

but..... I do LOATHE men who abuse women or children in any form....and it has nothing to do with their gender, just their cowardly actions....

are you familiar with the saying...

"attack is the best defense?"......

K
 

Kitana

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 17, 2001
1,312
7
under the sun
Epiphany

In an answer to your question...
Would you interfere if you had an abusive sibling or child?....
Yes, I would....both of my sons are adults, and they have been raised to know that under no circumstances would I tolerate them being abusive in any way to their mate or child, or to anyone else for that matter...violence just is not the answer...and it may be a b/w view to have, but I think there is a wrong and a right...abuse is a wrong, so don't do it...it can be that simple...

and if a sibling or their child was being abused... yes I would and have interfered...

my sister has lived with an abusive man for the last ten years...why she stays is beyond me, but she does...when they first got together he started abusing her two daughters, when I became aware of this, I intervened through the proper channels and as a result the two girls came to live with me for a year..
he got off scot free because he had no prior complaints or arrests against him...I took home two broken, traumatised little girls to look after...but they made it through...6 years on though they are still suffering from some of the after affects of having this happen to them....and they have found it very hard to get rid of the anger and hostility toward the abuser and their mother for not stopping him or leaving him....

In my past I have suffered most forms of abuse...and in my life now I am determined to turn it all around and to make sure I raised three children who are able to see the wrong in being abusive...sometimes they fall from grace and so do I ...getting angry and saying things we shouldn't, but that is all over in a few minutes and we do discuss it....

that is why I say that the excuses abusers constantly make, just don't cut it....the only way to stop the cycle is to stop the behaviour...and I know it's not easy, but it's well worth the effort to do it....being abused is not a good feeling, so why would you want to do it to another human being when you know how much it hurt you....

K
 

epiphany

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
You know Kem.....

We all have one or two skeletons in our
closets we liked to forget they are there.
But it is there we leave it and chalk it up
as experience, not a deficit on intelligience.
Unfortunately, some of us learn and some of us don't
and this is where the problem lies. Its not really
a question of gender, but the problem at hand
be it man or woman.
Everything is not based on gender, but plain and
simple human nature......in every thread involving relationships, you seem to always come back to the battle of the sexes.
Personally, I really don't care who does it, my question is why?The results still has the same impact.
What in a person's psyche cause them to be the abuser
or the abused.....not which gender gets the beating the most.
I think the mutual understanding here is that it happens to both.
so, lets leave it at that......and concentrate on the why?
Everyone that replied came up with valid points, in every
discussion there will be disagreements, but the same
disagreements gets to be a little tiresome.
And the whole purpose of the thread, gets lost in the shuffling.
You know Kem, when you antagonize :nono:, you gonna get some fiery feedback:flame:.......perhaps, you enjoy the fireworks you let off...:bomb:...
Sittin back and crackin up at the display...:jumping: :lol:.........huh!
you sumpin else.......:cool:
Me don't protest.....me reads the nature of the thang! :idea:


Epiphany :heart:
 

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