Black Relationships : White Guy (me) & Black Girl

Scott Anthony

New Member
Aug 3, 2014
My girlfriend and I just broke up, and I'm posting this question to this thread because I really don't have any black friends, and I also don't have any white friends that have dated black women. My opportunities for other perspective are limited on this subject, to say the least.

I'll try not to make this too lengthy.

We dated for six months, and overall things were going very, very well. She was the first black woman I've dated, and I was the first white guy she dated "seriously" (her words). Quite honestly, we each thought we were going to marry each other at one point.

However, the most significant difficulty I (we) had in our relationship was her opinion of white people. On a DAILY basis she was always emailing and texting me links to racist articles and videos, and talking about how terrible white people are and how difficult it is to be black in America, etc., etc. And I will say this - I agree with her 100%. Racism is alive and well in this country, and our system is screwing black people over more so than any other minority group. I don't know what it feels like to be black in this country, but I do know that I am afforded other privileges just because of my white skin. I've NEVER disagreed with her on any of these racial topics.

She frequently told me that white people make her sick to her stomach, that being white isn't a prideful thing, and she's starting to view white people as "vile scum" (and she had very legitimate arguments for saying such things). She would get so worked up and upset over things sometimes that she would start crying. She told me that basically the only white people she likes are me, my family, and a couple white friends of hers. And I will say that I am WHITE. I'm not an urban white guy that has grown up in and around black culture. I'm just a white guy with and open and real mind.

We ended up breaking up because I expressed my own insecurities to her on this subject (admittedly, not in the best way possible), and she thought that I'd end up leaving her in 11th hour, etc. An argument ensued, and we called it quits.

I honestly don't know what to make of everything. Is this to be expected from an interracial relationship? She told me that all black women are as proactive about racial issues and current topics as she is. Is this true? Will this continue to be and issue and daily discussion if I continue dating other black women? With such strong (and not so great) opinions of white people, was this relationship doomed from the start?

I will say this - we were BOTH at fault. She at times said that she wished that she wasn't the first black girl I dated, and I also wished she would have dated (seriously) a white guy prior to me. Communication within a relationship is two-way, but the discussion of racism, in our situation, is obviously one-way. I thought I was getting it, I thought I was listening and learning, but I guess I wasn't good enough.

Any thoughts, questions, or advice are appreciated.


going above and beyond
Feb 19, 2001
I will have to say, you guys aren't evenly yoked. Your description of what she was doing and saying makes this obvious



Well-Known Member
Feb 26, 2013
Is this to be expected from an interracial relationship? .

Okay, welcome to the site, but what?

Can you answer me these?

Why not ask some people, any people, who you've known to actually have been in an interracial relationship, instead of strangers who might have never been in interracial relationship?

Are you seriously asking if all black women are the SAME, in relationships or otherwise, just because ONE black woman told you so?

If a white woman told you all women view men with the same disdain, would you seriously take her on her word, instead of seeing the obvious?

What is it you think random black people can tell you about a random black woman you were dating, who seemed to harbor a great hatred toward you from the start?

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