Black Relationships : What's better in a relationship: Chemistry or compatibility?

HODEE

Alonewolf
PREMIUM MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
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Are relationships where one of the involved people are more committed, serious about the connection they found with the other person in a relationship, because this has not been considered?

I don't carry around with me a list of things to consider before making decisions or getting involved. But this kind of thinking has to be a part of what you consider important to letting anyone into your life, occupy your time, be a part of your emotional and physical existence or actuality.

I believe chemistry is important, but what is relationship chemistry? Is it just being excited when you first meet someone, enjoying how they look, how she stands, smile, or with women how he sounds, talks and wears that shirt or jacket.

Attraction fades either fast within the first few moments or shortly into a relationship. Love at first site does exist, it is part of that chemistry. Speaking from my experience. I loved my wife at first site. I loved how she looked, in the pool fighting off some guys she knew. She came up after being held down under water and her hair was all tight and had curls and stuff. Her screams and swings...what a tiger.

Compatibility comes after the first few moments of meeting. We still disagree a bit to this day of what happened when I introduced myself to her. Compatibility can also come later. I had one of my female cousins who knew her take me over her house. When I introduced myself to her she slammed the door in my face, I may have said something like can I get your phone number so we can talk. She may have said no, and not have been as rude as I am depicting it, but to get the door closed in my face left me nothing to do but believe that was interesting and rude. No compatibility there.

Looking at chemistry and compatibility, have to go hand in hand. To have the chemistry is to be compatible, and to be compatible is having the chemistry. When the compatibility is gone. So is the chemistry.
 

Kadijah

Banned
Registered
Apr 7, 2013
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Compatibility and chemistry are 2 separate things. You can be compatible with a person, yet have no romantic feelings whatsoever. After that's what bff's have.

Conversely, you can feel chemistry for a person, yet be incompatible in many of your life goals and ideas. The 2 don't necessarily go hand in hand.

For a marriage in today's world to succeed, you need both. Waaaaay back in the day, marriage was based on things other than love, so all you needed was to be compatible.
 

HODEE

Alonewolf
PREMIUM MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
5,781
831
Compatibility and chemistry are 2 separate things. You can be compatible with a person, yet have no romantic feelings whatsoever. After that's what bff's have.

Conversely, you can feel chemistry for a person, yet be incompatible in many of your life goals and ideas. The 2 don't necessarily go hand in hand.

For a marriage in today's world to succeed, you need both. Waaaaay back in the day, marriage was based on things other than love, so all you needed was to be compatible.
Compatibility and chemistry are 2 separate things.
I agree.
Both are needed. My reason for stating they have to be hand in hand is to have a relationship worth spending time and effort in there must be both chemistry and compatibility.
I agree...
For a marriage in today's world to succeed, you need both.
( Hand in Hand ) A term used so many ways and one way it is used is:
Hand in hand means two things that go together, like peanut butter and jelly, peas and carrots, ham and cheese.
 

Keita Kenyatta

Well-Known Member
Registered
Feb 7, 2004
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3,336
The above is so true. I have been with a sister in the past who had PERFECT chemistry with me and I with her. When I was in her presence, I was literally weak in the knees...heart racing and the whole nine. Once we engaged in knocking tha boots, it was some mind blowing ish !! Word up Bro!!!...but guess what? Out of bed, me and her didn't have a darn thing in common at all. I didn't even like her, nor she me...but the chemistry between us on the physical level was the ish!!!

This is a danger zone for a lot of people who may not be aware of it....because your EXACT CHEMICAL OPPOSITE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. When and if you should ever meet, I would feel for you and her...especially if the two of you are married to other people, cause all hell will break loose without any of the two of you meaning it to be that way. It's just that the law of magnetism would be so overwhelming that both of you would have to be extremely strong for something not to go down.
 

Enki

The Evolved Amphibian
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Aug 27, 2010
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The Third Plane of Existence
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Civil Eng.
In my opinion, both are needed, plus a few other things that are just as important like give, and take. Knowing everything can't go your way, and understanding. Having the tools of personal communication in you belt will help greatly. And the hardest thing IMO is finding empathy when there is none.

Peace!
 

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