Black Parenting : What Would You Do?

IFE

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Jan 20, 2015
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My son married a young lady with 2 kids. They have had another child; biological grandson for me. All mine
I asked this question, to church ladies, with my first grandson, and the answers were all different.
Some said they NEVER have met the women their son had a child with and don't want to!! (These were my church Sisters). There is no right or wrong answer. All opinions welcome.

The question:
Gifts and other things. If you had or have step grandchildren, do you buy them something everytime you get your biological grandson something?

My first grandson had 2 siblings and I gave them Christmas gifts.
I bought my grandson many things/clothing, toys, etc. Not a problem.

My sons current wife is young and I think she's a lil touched. She doesn't think I should by my biological grandson gifts unless I buy all 3 kids something.
That means when I see something I want to buy for my grandson I'm hesitant because of her. I don't like going over her head to my son. That puts him in an uncomfortable position of having to choose a side.

Would you buy only for you grand or all the siblings?
 

baller

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Jan 28, 2001
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the near north
My youngest son (34) has a stepson; he and his wife have since had three more sons. The father isn't involved in the child's life...and my son has fully accepted him as his own. As such, he is my grandson...just like the other three. I do for them all; clothes, gifts, etc. Unfortunately, since moving to Canada, I don't see them as much as I'd like...but when I do, I don't differentiate between any of them...and they all call me Poppa.:) Now, I did have to grow into that acceptance. Initially, I wanted to do for my biological grandchild...wanted to spend time with my grandchild...etc. But, as I saw my son with his stepson, I began to realize that they were father and son. That helped me with my acceptance. Plus, he's a great kid--caring, respectful, developing into quite the athlete (not that that has anything to do with it.:).

Now, if there were more step kids than biological kids, would I be as giving? I don't know. If the father was active in the child's life, would it make a difference? Probably. But given my current situation, I'm okay accepting my son's step son as my grandchild...equal to any of my other eleven grandchildren.

I hope this helps.
 
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IFE

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jan 20, 2015
3,041
498
My youngest son (34) has a stepson; he and his wife have since had three more sons. The father isn't involved in the child's life...and my son has fully accepted him as his own. As such, he is my grandson...just like the other three. I do for them all; clothes, gifts, etc. Unfortunately, since moving to Canada, I don't see them as much as I'd like...but when I do, I don't differentiate between any of them...and they all call me Poppa.:) Now, I did have to grow into that acceptance. Initially, I wanted to do for my biological grandchild...wanted to spend time with my grandchild...etc. But, as I saw my son with his stepson, I began to realize that they were father and son. That helped me with my acceptance. Plus, he's a great kid--caring, respectful, developing into quite the athlete (not that that has anything to do with it.:).

Now, if there were more step kids than biological kids, would I be as giving? I don't know. If the father was active in the child's life, would it make a difference? Probably. But given my current situation, I'm okay accepting my son's step son as my grandchild...equal to any of my other eleven grandchildren.

I hope this helps.
Thank you baller. feel the same way. My son has accepted his step children and so do I.
We send them birthday gifts and Christmas.
and now I have a beautiful granddaughter thur this blended family.
Think I will send my biological grandson a package. See what she does with it.
her request is that I not play favorites.
I love her kids, same as I love my grandson, but I may play favorites.

What surprises me more is the grandmothers who say the never plan to see their sons baby mamas or the child.
 

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