Black Relationships : What did you learn from your last relationship?

legit-writer

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Dec 12, 2002
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Me, I learned that the road to hell can be paved with good intentions. How about you? What did you learn?
 

baller

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Jan 28, 2001
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the near north
i could say that relationships succeed because each member of the relationship meet the needs of the other. when that no longer happens, the relationship fails. if we understand that, there is nothing more for us to learn. but, in order to know that--the needs of our mate--we must first get to know our mate.

the only thing either of you should have learned is that you, or he, was unwilling to do the work required to make the relationship work--to communicate, to keep it exciting, to fulfill the needs of the other. yes, it is that simple...if you keep the rhetoric out of the equation. people get out of relationships because they're not being fed...they're not getting the things they require of the relationship. if you know your mate, you know what those things are. if you failed to provide those things, you know why it failed (and vise versa). the other person didn't have to teach you that.

i know exactly why every relationship i've been in FAILED. i knew they were going down hill before their demise. the signs are always there. the question is, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT? no, you cannot make a relationship succeed alone. you cannot change the other person's desires. you cannot make him want you when he doesn't.

in getting to know his wants, you should have known whether, or not, you could meet them early in the relationship...and whether the relationship would last.

GET TO KNOW ME.

that's what most men asks. AND ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM...NOT WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE.

sorry for rambling.
 

info-moetry

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Dec 20, 2004
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The rotten Apple
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peace

I learned that it is possible for a woman to have a walk in closet with no clothes in it, just boxes of shoes, boots and coats........lol
 

NyneElementz

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Apr 6, 2006
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Myrtle Beach, SC
From my last relationship, I learned that yo have to be careful of the choices you make and the person you choose to be by your side. Taking time to develop some foresight while learning not to take a person at face value so quickly is critical.

The truth is that a potential mate is the hardest thing to understand, predict, and to help out of their emotional bondage. Everyone who tries to get with you has a sales pitch of some kind, and we have to learn to measure a person by those words, rather than to not prove a person's intent. I learned that if you have instincts about what it would take to find out the truth in a person, (as long as it doesn't do any bodily harm), follow them until the other person whows you who they are. And when they show you who they really are, don't standin denial of it. Believe whatthat person shows you consistently.

I learned that many black women have bought into the idea of making black men thier enemies, and that belief tends to show itself in relationships, corrupting them. I learned that women who haven't dealt with their own issues and who don't take responsibility for their role of those issues in their live have a lack of serious meturity and integrity. I learned that a facade is not the real person. And unfortunately, I learned the sometimes, no matter how much you are about the person's best interest, they will continueto mistreat you, lest you do something about it.
 

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