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karmashines

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Okay... but I just have one more final question for those that have gotten involved in the debate.

If all of this is true, why was there so much controversey at How Stella Got Her Grove on, where the the plot is of a African American woman going to a younger Jamaican man for love?
 

panafrica

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karmashines said:
Okay... but I just have one more final question for those that have gotten involved in the debate.

If all of this is true, why was there so much controversey at How Stella Got Her Grove on, where the the plot is of a African American woman going to a younger Jamaican man for love?
If I'm not mistaken the controversy was over a older woman and younger man. There was not controversy over a Jamaican man with an African American woman. What is the big deal over that? My brother is married to a Jamaican woman, loves Reggae, and Caribbean food. He is practicing PanAfricanism without even realizing it. As my Jamaican brothers and sisters say, "One people....One love"!
 

SAMURAI36

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panafrica said:
If I'm not mistaken the controversy was over a older woman and younger man. There was not controversy over a Jamaican man with an African American woman. What is the big deal over that? My brother is married to a Jamaican woman, loves Reggae, and Caribbean food. He is practicing PanAfricanism without even realizing it. As my Jamaican brothers and sisters say, "One people....One love"!
True indeed, it was about it being a May-September relationship, not a Pan-African one.

I too, am a product of a Jamaican woman marrying a Black American man.

And, in the spirit of STELLA, my mother (RIP) was 14 years older than my father

I am a fan of both kinds of relationships (Pan-African and May-September--the latter, with the woman being older, of course :wink: )

PEACE
 

panafrica

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SAMURAI36 said:
True indeed, it was about it being a May-September relationship, not a Pan-African one. I too, am a product of a Jamaican woman marrying a Black American man. And, in the spirit of STELLA, my mother (RIP) was 14 years older than my father I am a fan of both kinds of relationships (Pan-African and May-September--the latter, with the woman being older, of course :wink: )
That is cool with me brother Samurai36! I have a nephew and two neices who are half-Jamaican. Interestingly enough my parents who are neither Black Nationalist, nor PanAfricanist have had 2 out of their 3 sons marry black women from other countries (myself married to an African woman, and my eldest brother married to a Jamaican woman). Neither my mother or father have a problem with this, in fact both love my wife. This goes to show that not as many people have a problem with this, as some believe. As you stated a black person is a black person...all that really seperates us are bodies of water!
 

Riada

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I made comments in a thread about why I'm with an African man in which I pointed out how Africans place a high value on the family bond and how African men, by and large, will do their darndest to take care of their children.

Well, I was accused by one of the staunch regulars on here of being divisive by making this statement. So, I do find it "interesting" that men in this thread can talk freely about pursuing or being interested in African and other Black women whereas I was accused of being divisive when I talked about why I was with an African man. Considering what is now being said in this thread, I find it more than interesting that guys in this thread did not counter that brothas accusation of divisiveness. If this is thought to be a good alternative for AAs to find mates, as is being emphasized in this thread,it should be supported, no matter whether it's women or men doing it and no matter who is doing it.

I think this is one of the reasons why more women do not get involved in these discussions. Some of y'all have to know that a whole lotta sistas have a lot more to say than what they're saying. LOL. I've come to the conclusion that there may be less of a desire for "widespread and honest and open" discussions in some of the threads and more of a push to just agree with the so-called party line. It's my opinion that whereas some people will 'just go along to get along,' most others will just not participate in many of the threads. This usually results in just a handful of people talking in most threads. But maybe this is what is desired. Yet some wonder on here why more people don't participate.
 

SAMURAI36

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I doubt I'm going to get a response from you, but once again, this is not about just you, so here's my Q just the same:

Could it be that it was not about your perspective, but rather how you present it to the forum?

Just as you've offered your critique about the status quo here, you should then be just as receptive of others' critique of you:

You've been notorious for making all sorts of outlandish statements in the past--offering them as "fact", "reality", and "information", yet when you get called on these things, you then opt to resort to turning these "untennable truths of "enlightenment" into "just your opinions".

In order for people to think more of your perspectives, you have to think more of those people.
 

SAMURAI36

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Continued.....

This last response of yours--in which you seek to talk AT people, instead of TO them--is a primary example of this golden rule.

I for one, applaud you for taking a step into Pan-African relationships (if that is indeed how you see it). However, may I ask what your reasonings are for doing so?

There is a huge difference in doing it because "Brothas ain't no good", and doing it because "Many of the Black American males are currently not suitable for relationships with Black women ANYWHERE, not just here in America."

For some reason, many of us just cannot shake the perception that we have--a perception that you have played your part in giving us--that your perspective on your people--especially Black American Males--is indeed a bit divisive.

Overall though, if you are that unhappy with the "part-line", I'm sure that you realize that there is a more than expedient solution.

I exercised this solution myself, once. Several people called me back though, and thus here I am.

In all honesty, I have to wonder if you'd get that same invitation.

PEACE
 

SAMURAI36

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P.S. You’ll no doubt notice that I honored your previous “request” of me, that I not “cut and paste” in order to respond to you.

Have A Great Day! :D

HOTEP
 

panafrica

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Riada said:
I made comments in a thread about why I'm with an African man in which I pointed out how Africans place a high value on the family bond and how African men, by and large, will do their darndest to take care of their children. Well, I was accused by one of the staunch regulars on here of being divisive by making this statement. So, I do find it "interesting" that men in this thread can talk freely about pursuing or being interested in African and other Black women whereas I was accused of being divisive when I talked about why I was with an African man. Considering what is now being said in this thread, I find it more than interesting that guys in this thread did not counter that brothas accusation of divisiveness. If this is thought to be a good alternative for AAs to find mates, as is being emphasized in this thread,it should be supported, no matter whether it's women or men doing it and no matter who is doing it.
I remember when you made the statement about African men in general having a high value on family. I remember because I agreed with you (it is true). I missed you being accused of divisiveness. However, why let one person's criticism stop you from what you are doing. Do you realize how much criticism I have received for promoting African Diasporic Dating? I have been promoting it for almost 3 years on this forum (speaking to men and women equally), as you can see in the following thread links:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12551&highlight=dating+diaspora

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33775&highlight=dating

I have received responses which ranged from indifferent to down right hostile (certainly worse than what you were accused of). However, I have not let them deter me. If that is what you believe...if that is what you are doing...stand up for it!
 

Riada

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Pan, I hear what you’re saying. Thanks. You’re truly wise beyond your years!

I checked out the first thread. All I can say is Lawdy, Lawdy!! Yes, you have covered it all and then some up in here! I’ve met Africans of all types—ones who thought AAs were superior and ones who thought we were inferior, but mostly ones who just don’t know what to think about us. I don’t know what the big deal is. I’ve always wondered why people were so closed off to other people. I’ve found there are usually many cultural equivalences between cultures of people. We may call it A here and they call it B there and another culture may call it G. My guy and I have very similar values and viewpoints.
I’ve lived and mingled in lots of settings on various socioeconomic levels and sometimes with various cultures of people and what I’ve found is that the same “types” of people exist in ALL of those settings. IMO, the real barrier is that very few people get a chance to really get to know others, relax our guard and defensive posture and talk honestly with each other, ask each other questions and listen to each other without those preconceived notions or prejudices interfering.
 

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