The Sad State Of Some Of Our Children


going above and beyond
Feb 9, 2001
There is definitely more acceptance of the open expression of our sexuality today than it used to be. With sex constantly being promoted as a focal point throughout American society and so many people giving it much attention, including our teens, how can we blame our youth for doing something that seems so natural? It's a feel good situation and with so much affecting us that feels bad as African Ameiricans, should we be surprised that we seem to gravitate easily and readily to these relationships? But all in proper perspective, right?

I'm not going to blame the media alone for this situation because we as consumers can readily do something to change all the things that we view as negative about us and for us in that medium.

I'm not going to blame our children entirely because they are simply demonstrating that they will usually learn what they are taught based on what they see and what they hear. But we all know that our children can be guided and directed to behave a certain way if given the opportunity and the proper attention. Then when they reach an age where they have learned the difference between what's healthy and what's unhealthy in the form of behavior, then they must take some responsibility for the choices they make--good and bad.

Parents--some are good, some are not so good and some are just downright ugly. I do believe that the lions share of the responsibility should rest with parents from conception of a child to adolescence to early adulthood. There are so many different ways, techniques and approaches to parenting. So many opportunities for parents to take a blank slate and pass on either ignorance or knowledge. Some take it seriously, and sadly, many don't.

What qualities does it take to be a valuable parent/teacher? How easy or difficult is it to act responsibly as a parent? Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that parents should be held totally responsible for the actions of their children because they must share that. But what opportunities are parents giving their children to get a good start in life? How do parents do that and how can we build stronger and more respectful relationships with our children?

And the issue of classism? It's always been an issue from the workforce standpoint but now it's becoming evident in other aspects of our living experience as well from expression of sexuality to education--according to the data.

From the education perspecitive, if you haven't noticed, there's a growing trend that more and more State governments are investing fewer tax dollars into public education as they are forced to prioritize the issues that are important for them to address with shrinking dollars. There are fewer federal dollars offered to students in the form of financial aid (which isn't a bad thing if these dollars are in the form of loans and not grants). Basically what that translates into is the fact that if you haven't saved up or even started to save up for your children's college education, fewer are going to able to pursue a higher education. So the haves will get to attend and the have nots won't. What does that translate into in terms of future marketability, hopes and dreams for our children? But that's a whole other topic that needs a thread of its own.

We all know that teens having sex didn't start with the hip hop generation. The way Black boys think of some Black girls who are sexually reckless and easy to have sex with versus those they refer to as "wifey" these days isn't new either. Just new terms for an old mind-set.

There is much to be said for the way our community reacts to this phenomena though. Are Black parents as critical or more critical of teen sex as they were in my (baby boom) generation--especially now that we have more than just pregancy to be concerned about? Because there was a stigma placed on teen sex about 30 years ago, it didn't mean that teen sex never happened. No, it just meant that it was a little more difficult to do so it wasn't as obvious as it seems to be today.

I also think that the fear of getting pregnant was more prevalent back in the day as it might be today. "Unwed mothers" used to bring "shame" on families and pregnant girls. Now, it's almost like it's no big deal to see a young girl walking around obviously pregnant or pushing a baby around in a stroller.

It sounds good when you hear, "it takes a village to raise a child," but it's nothing more than a modern cliche' if the village doesn't have its act together nor support each other. Until the 'village' becomes cohesive and more collaborative, I wouldn't want it trying to raise any child of mine. I can mess up by myself, I don't need help in doing that.

Are there other ways that we (parents) can enourage our youth to invest their energy that can bring about the same feelings of self-satisfaction and increase self-esteem, self-awareness, self-respect and give them a greater sense of purpose instead of behaving like a walking set of genitals?

(I apologize for the long post *sigh*)

Queenie :spinstar:


Well-Known Member
May 3, 2002
points well thought out, presented and taken Queen.

I think what was so upsetting to me was the disrespect of self and each other that this article presented.
I also think that the article is probably a bit biased-as usual; but I have seen with my own eyes these scenarios played out... in Grown folks as well as with Our kids.

Consciousness Raising Online!

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