Black Muslims : The best ways to deal with Children !

macoo

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Mar 3, 2012
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Unmatched Tolerance


The Prophet’s tolerance towards children was unmatched. It is clear from this Hadith:


Narrated `A’ishah (RA): The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)


If the child fails they must not feel a failure


Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم used to teach children that failure doesn't exist. Narrated Anas (RA):


I served The Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" [Bukhari Kitab Al-Adab]


In a similar hadith Anas RA reported:


"I served him for nine years, but I do not know that he ever said to me about anything I did, why I did that, or about

anything I had neglected, why I had not done that." (Muslim)


We must also become a mentor and help the child believe in his or her ability to succeed no matter how long it takes!


Ignoring inappropriate behaviors


Many of the inappropriate behaviors of young children can simply be ignored or disregarded. The Prophet is our best example in this regard.


Anas bin Malik RA said: "The Messenger of Allah had the best disposition among people. One day he sent me on an errand and I said, 'By Allah, I will not go,' but it was in my mind that I would do as the Messenger of Allah had ordered me. I went until I came upon children playing in the street. Then the Messenger of Allah arrived and he caught me by the back of my neck from behind. As I looked at him, I found him smiling, and he said, `Unays

(nickname of Anas), did you go where I asked you to go'?' I said, `O Messenger of Allah, yes, I am going."'


Treatment of equality


Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم made emphasized that Muslims should be conscious totreat their sons and daughters justly:


“Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


Listening to what they have to say


The Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم used to give them attention. Whenever they had something to say to them he used to listen intently and not turn his face away from them.
 

macoo

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Mar 3, 2012
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No compromise on personality building


The love and affection for children that was displayed by the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم was not restricted to gestures only. Rather he made efforts in grooming the children’s personalities and making them a responsible member of the society.


He used to take children to gatherings and let them sit with grown-ups to increase their understanding and wisdom. The followers of the prophet used to bring their children with them when they went and sat with the Prophet. One of the hadith that describe this was narrated by Mu’aawiyah ibn Qurrah from his father, who said:

"The Prophet used to sit with a group of his Companions. One man had his little son with him; the prophet would bring the child from behind and make him sit in front of him…"




He used to teach them good manners and etiquettes. In a hadeeth narrated by Abu Hurayrah, Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم has said :

"The young should greet the old, the passerby should greet one who is sitting, and the small group should greet the larger group." (Al-Bukhaari, 5736).




He gave children the praise and respect they deserve in front of others. This is made clear by the following hadeeth:

Sahl ibn Sa’d said that the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم was brought a cup and he drank from it. There was a boy, the youngest of all the people, on his right and some elders on his left. He said, "O young boy, will you allow me to give this to these elders?" The boy said, "I will not give away my share of your blessings to anyone, O Messenger of Allaah," so he gave the cup to him. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2180)

 

macoo

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Mar 3, 2012
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Recognizing their great status:

The Muslim should recognize the status of the parent and know his duties towards them. The status of parents in Islam is a status which mankind had not known before. Allaah Has placed the respect for the parents just one step below the belief in Allaah and true worship of Him.

Allaah says (what means): “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Quran 17: 23]

The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) placed kindness and respect towards parents just after the prayer offered on time as the prayer is the foundation of Islam.

'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood may Allaah be pleased with him said: “I asked the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) which deed is most liked by Allaah? He sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him: ‘Then what? He sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’…” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Knowing the duties towards them:

It is also the duty of the child to provide for his parents, if he is able to do so. The Quran sums up the whole matter in a master concept called Ihsaan, which denotes what is right, good and beautiful (i.e. showing to them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them and supporting them financially if they are in need.)

we mention a verse that shows the significance of obedience and gratitude due to parents: Allaah says (what means): “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” [Quran 31:14]

 

HODEE

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macoo
Thanks for sharing you expanded on this. You posted some of the same information earlier in the year.
What I found interesting is this quote.
If the child fails they must not feel a failure


Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم used to teach children that failure doesn't exist. Narrated Anas (RA):


I served The Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" [Bukhari Kitab Al-Adab]
What is interesting is the patience you mentioned. I worked with a Muslim gentleman years ago. he never got frustrated when he was questioned or challenged by one of our co-workers. I enjoyed the company of both men, and had to work with each of them as a team and individually. Of course I was training both on our companies technology and that was fun.
I haven't spoken to Shawky in years. I once saw him slightly frustrated during Ramadan. We were teamed up and it was time for dinner. He was insistent we stop what we were working on and get to the restaurant. I sometimes do not know when to quit. I was insisting we complete something we were involved in so we didn't have to return to the work site.

In teaching our children that failure does not exist. It is important that they don't take it personal and feel like a failure.

I taught my children that if you fail, or don't succeed. Don't get satisfaction or an acceptable answer or resolution.
Accept that, or keep going and try again if that is what you want. But never give up.

I practice, approach head on, go around, go over or thru an issue. Before I regroup and try again, or give up the idea or project. Approach head on and address things as they happen or occur. Go around to avoid the blocks or negatives or the issue if possible. Go over is to get the idea or the information past the blockage or stalemate to another level or person who can resolve the issue or makes the final decision. Go thru and take it even higher, push the obstacles out of the way by taking it higher up the chain or something. Over all be persistent until your satisfied you can do no more. Then give it up, if you have done all you can.

"Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?"
This respectful and a way of not questioning a decision made by the child or individual. If asked of course the conversation takes place. But I respect my children's efforts and tell them they did good. I tell them how proud I am they addressed things and how they addressed them. Like there is no right or wrong.

I believe Intent in every encounter is key.
 

macoo

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Mar 3, 2012
799
69
macoo
Thanks for sharing you

Thanks HODEE,


If the child fails they must not feel a failure


Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم used to teach children that failure doesn't exist. Narrated Anas (RA):


I served The Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" [Bukhari Kitab Al-Adab]

This means that

Unmatched Tolerance and compassion and also teach children

The Prophet’s tolerance towards children was unmatched. It is clear from this Hadith:

"I served the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me, or frowned in my face."

The first advice the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, gave to Anas Ibn Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, when he started to serve him, was to keep the secrets and never disclose them. Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, adhered to this and nobody ever managed to make him disclose any of the Prophet's, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, secrets.

Anas Ibn Malik, may Allaah be pleased with him, grew up under the supervision of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam. Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, learnt much and his manners were greatly affected by the noble manners of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam. He narrated about two thousand Prophetic narrations and he was known as the "Narrator of Islam".

Anas Ibn Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, witnessed Al-Hudaybiyyah Treaty with the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, and he participated in the conquests of Makkah, Hunayn, Taa'if, and Khaybar. He lived long after the death of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam). It is said that he is the last companion to die. Some hold the opinion that he died in 91 A.H.

We must also become a mentor and help the child believe in his or her ability to succeed no matter how long it takes!

Ignoring inappropriate behaviors

Many of the inappropriate behaviors of young children can simply be ignored or disregarded. The Prophet is our best example in this regard.

Anas bin Malik RA said: “The Messenger of Allah had the best disposition among people. One day he sent me on an errand and I said, ‘By Allah, I will not go,’ but it was in my mind that I would do as the Messenger of Allah had ordered me. I went until I came upon children playing in the street. Then the Messenger of Allah arrived and he caught me by the back of my neck from behind. As I looked at him, I found him smiling, and he said, `Unays
(nickname of Anas), did you go where I asked you to go’?’ I said, `O Messenger of Allah, yes, I am going.”‘

 
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