Black Men : Taking a Brother's Manhood From Him - Why do we do this?

Destee

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Peace and Blessings Family,

Why do we attempt to take a Brother's Manhood away from him?

If he doesn't do the "right thing" according to some, he aint even a man no more.

How can this be? Isn't he a man, no matter what? Just one that chooses differently?!

As a woman, i can't think of anything that can take my "womanhood" away from me.

No errors i make, no poor decisions, nothing separates me from being a woman.

Maybe yall can tell me some things that might, helping me to understand this better.

Why are we so quick to take what is innately his, from him?

Is this left-over from slavery ... cues from the slave master ... making men not men?

Looking forward to the discussion, and thanks in advance.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee

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ps ... for the sake of discussion ... i'm thinking of things like ...

1. If he doesn't take care of his children, he's not a man.

2. If he hits a woman, he's not a man.

3. If he (fill in the blank), he's not a man.

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Angela22

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Feb 26, 2013
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Hmm, I believe when others do this, they know for truth they can't take away a man's physical manhood; that's just a given, but it would seem "manhood" is viewed in a much deeper respect than just being a grown male. That's to say, "You ain't no real man!!" is stated to imply "though you walk in a man's body, within you're merely a [insert whatever here, that isn't man]."

But then again, that's just how I've seen it. I'm a grown woman, but know a few who don't view me like that nor call me that, because they believe I've not reached true "womanhood" yet. Whatever that may be. :D
 

Destee

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Hmm, I believe when others do this, they know for truth they can't take away a man's physical manhood; that's just a given, but it would seem "manhood" is viewed in a much deeper respect than just being a grown male. That's to say, "You ain't no real man!!" is stated to imply "though you walk in a man's body, within you're merely a [insert whatever here, that isn't man]."

But then again, that's just how I've seen it. I'm a grown woman, but know a few who don't view me like that nor call me that, because they believe I've not reached true "womanhood" yet. Whatever that may be. :D

I think folk just say things, without considering the depth of their words, or the behaviors being exhibited.

It seems that it's primarily done to men, as i've not seen "womanhood" challenged so blatantly.

Perhaps if we think about what we're saying and doing, before we say and do it, we might not.

Given that Brothers have so many things already challenging their manhood, we'd not add to that.

Especially considering, we didn't give their manhood to them, and have no real ability to take it.

iono ... just weird to me and my mind ... :look:

Thanks for chiming in ... :)

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 

Angela22

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MEMBER
Feb 26, 2013
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I think folk just say things, without considering the depth of their words, or the behaviors being exhibited.

It seems that it's primarily done to men, as i've not seen "womanhood" challenged so blatantly.

Perhaps if we think about what we're saying and doing, before we say and do it, we might not.

Given that Brothers have so many things already challenging their manhood, we'd not add to that.

Especially considering, we didn't give their manhood to them, and have no real ability to take it.

iono ... just weird to me and my mind ... :look:

Thanks for chiming in ... :)

Love You!

:heart:

Destee

Yeah, I do believe it's more so done to men, and also believe people don't give that much thought to their words before stated.

And that's a great point; we didn't give their manhood, so we definitely can't take it away with mere words. A man's going to be a man, regardless. A foolish man, a childish man, a loving man, a kind man, but nevertheless, a man. Gives me sunthin to think about. Thanks!:)
 

Gorilla

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Jan 31, 2009
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That's how people are taught to treat men.

A lot of a man's identity in our society comes from his job, what he has, and what he can provide.

It rarely includes who he actually is. That's why most homeless are men. When a society buys into the idea that a man needs hard work and merit alone to achieve anything, they believe those that fall on hardship and to the bottom or near bottom belong there.

Failing any of the above and more gets your man-card revoked. I would definitely advise against showing any emotion even when appropriate, being injured, sick, or disabled, or having any mental health issues.

The only thing some people will prescribe for any of the above is: "man up".

I'll probably be asked to turn in my card after this short rant on my way to work too.
 

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