Black Women : Straight From His Mouth: Why Do Women Settle For Bad Sex In Relationships?

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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shutterstock_unhealthysex.jpg


Last week I had a conversation with my best friend of the opposite sex, playing catch up and trading stories as we often do. She told me about a friend of hers (we’ll call this friend Vee) and Vee’s latest failed attempt at dating. Vee was dating a guy and things went sour, and while a host of situations led to their eventual demise, the reason my friend and I had been cackling at the highest volumes known to man is because of the question Vee posed during their talk. Vee asked my friend: “would you keep dating a guy if the sex was bad?” to which my friend replied, “you’re asking ME this? ME? The woman who’s stopped dating guys she’s LIKED because the sex was bad?”At this point, laughter turned to tears as I replied, “she must’ve forgotten who she was talking to.” My friend, for as long as I’ve known her, has absolutely refused to be in a relationship with men who couldn’t satisfy her sexually. I thought this was common practice but I later found out that it’s not. So the question posed here is why do women settle for bad sex?

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http://madamenoire.com/452193/bad-sex/
 

Liberty

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Female Orgasm May Be Tied to 'Rule of Thumb



First came the G-spot, then multiple climax and spiritual tantric sex. The modern woman is not only expected to be a good mother and a professional success, but some believe she needs to behave like a porn star in the bedroom.

So if a simple device could reveal whether a woman is capable of a
vaginal orgasm, would it take the pressure off heterosexual women to perform?

New research suggests that a simple measurement -- a "rule of thumb" -- might be the key to the pleasures of
sexual intercourse.

About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances.


The Internet is rife with non-orgasmic women who say they are missing out, and statistics suggest that they are a significant group.

"Maybe my boyfriend and I aren't doing it right or something," one woman wrote on
WebMD.com. "I don't understand. I feel like less of a woman because I can't have an orgasm and I want to so bad. I feel incomplete sometimes after sex."

Read more
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Reprod...orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289
 

baller

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Jan 28, 2001
3,805
674
the near north
NOT TO SOUND LIKE I'M AN EXPERT ON THE TOPIC...coz i'm so far from that.

BUT...

I could go into the thing about girls having psychological issues around sex, because they were raised to believe that sex was dirty. Or, I could go deeper…saying that most women don’t know their bodies…because they’re ashamed to explore their body. the bottom line is, most women don’t orgasm because they don’t know how to explain to their mate what they need from them. i.e. when asked what they like, most women will say, “what you’re doing is fine,” because they don’t know what they like. Or, again, they don’t know how to explain it. Some women won’t explain because they don’t want the man to feel that he’s inadequate…or that she knows more than he does.

Most men will claim to be a god at sex…the master of every sexual act known to man. But, actually, men are afraid…every time they have a “first time” with a woman. The thought of not being able to satisfy that woman scares the hell out of them. THAT’S WHY THEY ASK, “what do you like?” The man that’s capable of satisfying the most women…is the man that listens to the woman’s body, as well as her words…if she can verbalize her needs. But there are lazy men out there…men who are stuck on I GOT MINE…YOU BETTA GET YOURS. And, there are lazy women out there, who feel that men are supposed to do everything, while they lay on their backs…doing nothing. THE WET BLANKET as I call them.

Mutual satisfaction, in bed, comes when both parties are concerned about the pleasure of the other…and work to make it happen. WORK. Sexual intercourse is strenuous exercise that should leave both drained, or exhilarated…both feeling that they’ve had a serious workout. If not, you’re just not doing it right.:)

TO ANSWER THE QUESTION:

women settle for bad sex for different reasons:
- to hold on to a man they like, in hopes of teaching him how to please her.
- they've never known good sex, so they accept what they can get.
- they're afraid to question what he's doing...fearing he will walk out the door.
- they don't know how to tell him he's not doing it right.
- some women still believe that sex is about the man...and he doesn't have to satisfy her

the list goes on.
until she find it within herself to tell him what she likes, and wants done, nothing will change.
 

Liberty

Banned
MEMBER
Aug 28, 2015
6,914
1,213
NOT TO SOUND LIKE I'M AN EXPERT ON THE TOPIC...coz i'm so far from that.

BUT...

I could go into the thing about girls having psychological issues around sex, because they were raised to believe that sex was dirty. Or, I could go deeper…saying that most women don’t know their bodies…because they’re ashamed to explore their body. the bottom line is, most women don’t orgasm because they don’t know how to explain to their mate what they need from them. i.e. when asked what they like, most women will say, “what you’re doing is fine,” because they don’t know what they like. Or, again, they don’t know how to explain it. Some women won’t explain because they don’t want the man to feel that he’s inadequate…or that she knows more than he does.

Most men will claim to be a god at sex…the master of every sexual act known to man. But, actually, men are afraid…every time they have a “first time” with a woman. The thought of not being able to satisfy that woman scares the hell out of them. THAT’S WHY THEY ASK, “what do you like?” The man that’s capable of satisfying the most women…is the man that listens to the woman’s body, as well as her words…if she can verbalize her needs. But there are lazy men out there…men who are stuck on I GOT MINE…YOU BETTA GET YOURS. And, there are lazy women out there, who feel that men are supposed to do everything, while they lay on their backs…doing nothing. THE WET BLANKET as I call them.

Mutual satisfaction, in bed, comes when both parties are concerned about the pleasure of the other…and work to make it happen. WORK. Sexual intercourse is strenuous exercise that should leave both drained, or exhilarated…both feeling that they’ve had a serious workout. If not, you’re just not doing it right.:)

TO ANSWER THE QUESTION:

women settle for bad sex for different reasons:
- to hold on to a man they like, in hopes of teaching him how to please her.
- they've never known good sex, so they accept what they can get.
- they're afraid to question what he's doing...fearing he will walk out the door.
- they don't know how to tell him he's not doing it right.
- some women still believe that sex is about the man...and he doesn't have to satisfy her

the list goes on.
until she find it within herself to tell him what she likes, and wants done, nothing will change.

Thanks for posting
I think you understand women pretty well.
But, I don't think every woman KNOWS what's missing, until she experiences it.
People always say that women should speak up about their displeasure. But, most women know that men are very sensitive to criticism in the bedroom. Criticizing his sexual abilities will probably be the end of the relationship. Women are sensitive like that, too.

If you know two women, one complains that she is dissatisfied, and one is whooping and hollering (faking) and has you convinced that "you the man", who will you be drawn to?

What do you think about the 75% of women who never, ever, reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Listening to men, that could never be true, huh?

I think the pornography industry has done a lot to damage to normal sexuality between men and women. Men and women have unrealistic expectations based on porn, IMO. Men aren't expected to do much, and women are expected to be easily satisfied. If she isn't, she'd think there is something wrong with her, so she'd just fake it.

One of the most important things that can be missing is love, tenderness, expressions of appreciation. Women need to be made love to, not fu**ed. Many men don't need that

I've heard men say the can tell when a woman is faking. I think they are grossly wrong.
 

baller

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jan 28, 2001
3,805
674
the near north
Thanks for posting
I think you understand women pretty well.
But, I don't think every woman KNOWS what's missing, until she experiences it.
People always say that women should speak up about their displeasure. But, most women know that men are very sensitive to criticism in the bedroom. Criticizing his sexual abilities will probably be the end of the relationship. Women are sensitive like that, too.

first, criticism should come at the beginning of the relationship...when the fault is determined. men love routine; they get into a method of doing things that he feels is good for his mate. if he's told two years into the relationship that he's never satisfied her, he feels attacked...and may feel that she's saying so because she's been introduced to something different...by someone else. that's what forces him out the door.


If you know two women, one complains that she is dissatisfied, and one is whooping and hollering (faking) and has you convinced that "you the man", who will you be drawn to?

if the "dissatisfied" woman knows how to express her displeasure, it doesn't matter. don't tell me i don't know what i'm doing, if you can't tell me what you need. as for the "faking" woman, she's doing what she has to, to protect her man's fragile ego. if she's doing that, she must feel he's worth it.

What do you think about the 75% of women who never, ever, reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Listening to men, that could never be true, huh?

(vaginal orgasms) there are women with hidden--deeply hooded--clitoris, who doesn't get the stimulation that most women get. those women require more attention, longer preliminaries (foreplay), to achieve their ultimate goal. however, a contributing factor could be their psychological views of sex. sex is as much mental as it is physical. if she can't get beyond her psychological hangups, she will remain a part of the 75%.


I think the pornography industry has done a lot to damage to normal sexuality between men and women. Men and women have unrealistic expectations based on porn, IMO. Men aren't expected to do much, and women are expected to be easily satisfied. If she isn't, she'd think there is something wrong with her, so she'd just fake it.

i'm not sure pornography has anything to do with anyone's performance in bed. sometimes, over the course of being told they're the greatest thing since sliced bread, people get cocky--men and women. in their cockiness, they become lazy...laying back, expecting others to perform to their whims. until they're called out on this, it will continue.

One of the most important things that can be missing is love, tenderness, expressions of appreciation. Women need to be made love to, not fu**ed. Many men don't need that

like men, there are times when women just want to be fu**ed, as you put it. that's not specific to gender.


I've heard men say the can tell when a woman is faking. I think they are grossly wrong.

if you pay attention to a woman's body, you may not be able to tell if she's faking, but you should see enough to make you question if she did--breathing patterns, facial expressions, contracting vagina muscles, etc. if you're not seeing/feeling that, you should question whether, or not, she did. if she lie, and say she has when she hasn't, there are other issues going on.

sexual intercourse is a wonderful thing...that one should give him/herself over to, fully...in order to be enjoyed, thoroughly. holding back, in any way, by either party, only hampers what you're trying to achieve.
 

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