Black Parenting : Single parenthood, sometimes it's a choice made by the mother.

Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
lol, no I didn't see that last quote. Actually I address it a LOT. In fact, I dated a women who had two children and I loathed the idea that a man could have children and not be in their lives. The very thought of this man made me angry and I had never met him. Black men have NO excuse for abandoning their children. Even if they don't get along with the mother the child has NOTHING to do with that, it is still a person with feelings who needs him in their lives. I lost respect for the mother after we broke up because she would rather not be with me at the time because of my "lack of motivation" even though I would have done anything to take care of her and her kids and would never do anything to hurt her or them. Just thinking of all that gets me angry.
I look forward to reading you doing some of that here, addressing Brothers on this issue, for it needs to be done at every turn ... by Brothers.

It really has been a pleasure. Thanks!




Well-Known Member
Feb 28, 2009
Exactly. You run the risk of becoming a possible family everytime you engage in the act of sex. If you are not prepared at least mentally to handle that then you need to refrain from sex. To have sex with someone you wouldn't want to have a family with is insane.

And that is exactly why so-called "casual sex" aint so casual.

Men and women run the risk of being tied/connected to someone for the rest of their lives as well as the responsibility of a child.

The Old Ones said it best...."Long may you live and short may you tarry; but mind whom you mate with and whom you marry."


going above and beyond
Feb 19, 2001
Two of the women I dated CHOOSE to have children by men they didn't want relationships with (myself excluded). Why is this happening so much in the black community? This isn't a positive thing. If the man isn't fit to be a father the mother knew this before having sex with him irresponsibly so why have a child that will be raised by a single mother on PURPOSE? I used to think that black males were just being cowards and not taking responsible for their children, I'm learning this isn't always the case. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a single mother CAN'T raise good children but it is much harder to do and to CHOOSE to do this is gambling with that child(rens) life.

I've heard the excuse "the child shouldn't have to suffer for my mistake" but the child DOES suffer if the mother is struggling to survive herself. We need to be more sexually responsible in the first place and stay out of these positions.


Today, this isnt a sometime. The majority of births in the black community are done this way



Well-Known Member
Aug 24, 2002
The Diaspora
The woman's role in the number of single parent households in our community is often overlooked and it shouldn't be. This is for a reason. Women are not the victims of the estimated 75% (higher by many accounts) of OOW births in our community, but active participants in its creation. Constant focus on irresponsible men who abandon their children does nothing to change this reality. True change comes from honest assessment, not pointing fingers. If there is to be any change then women must also examine how their behaviors contribute to this pattern, as they have almost complete control over mate selection and the conditions on which their children will be brought into this world. Sexual responsibility is 1st and foremost one of the most important social behavioral modifications black people (especially in this country) need to adopt. Bravo for the thread brother Black Squared.
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