Should parents be in nursing homes or should the children take on the responsibility

vj57

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Dec 25, 2003
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soul_doctor73 said:
The answer is as simple as deciding what is more valuable to you: personal time or your grandfather. If life were different and we didn't have to pay for every single thing you weren't born into, the choice would be conceivably simple.

Since life is not, the choice is a difficult one. Personally, as long as I have a roof over my head and a bed, my elders have them too. I would sleep on the floor before sending them to paid 'care'.

This is my personal perspective, not a suggestion to you.
I hear you on this. My friend whose mother recently passed was willing to sacrifice her job. Thankfully she was able to work at home and nurse her mother. Her mother was gravely ill and when they were doing surgery, it was discovered that it was too late. She was dying, so they closed her up and told the family to say "goodbye".

I think many of us agree with your personal perspective. I will not see my dad in some nursing home when you hear horror stories of the abuse going on.
 

MrBlak

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May 18, 2004
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As long as your parent was a good one that treated you properly, and repsects you, and does not have a serious sickness or disease, one should always see to it their parents are taken care of.

Not everyone has room in the house so at least set them up with a good dwelling close enuff that you can check on them. Grandparents and kids in the same house causes tension IMO so I would only take them into my home once the kids are grown. Not all need this kind of assistance. My grandparents are on their own still in their 70's (I think).

If you gotta put the parents in a home, check it out cause I hear tons of horror stories all the time.
 

kente417mojo

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Jan 22, 2004
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I think it's cool to take in your parents. Like someone said, make sure they are respectful of your house. Some older people can be really crabby and sour. If I had one of those mean, nasty evil parents they'd be in a home with the quickness. :x: But if they are appreciative then I think it's the thing to do because after all, they are the reason you are here.
 

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you can do what u can for a parent who fall with illness sometime you can't
take on the full responsibility so a nice well manner nursing home can be a
dewelling place but visit daily and see that they are cared for , in most cases
it really is up to if the children can meet the task of caring for them
these are the parents who birth u into the world so why not care for them
if needed no matter what even in a nursing home you can do this as if you was
at home they need you it how well you love them it gives you the time to
do for your faimly and your parent as well Both can be a good setting for them
 

MzBlkAngel

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Aug 26, 2003
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somewhere ova da rainbow....
I took on the bulk of the responsibility of my momma's care. I was there each step as she got sicker i was there...she had became my baby and i took very good care of her. she and my baby had a babysister and the nurses would come in everyday to help me with my mom before i would go to work and things look good... but the last trip to the hosptial they would not release her to me b/c she was way past being ok she needed 24 hour care which i couldnt give with a baby and i had to place my momma in a nursing home it hurted but it was nothing else to do at this point...sadly she didnt make it a full day my momma passed away the day we placed her in the home....
i say all that to say this since i have went though placing a love one in a home twice.....when the doctor or hosptial say the best thing is for you to place your loved one in a nursing home at times it is best..to this day i believe her doctor knew she wouldnt of made it through the night...

i can say this my momma and me was closer then ever and we found a new mother and daughter friendship inside the one we had..and for all the years she took care of me i was happy to return all that love i was given growing up.......

if you take this on its programs that will help you look into it
call the hosptials talk to the social workers you dont have to do it completely alone it is acgencies that offer help, support and consueling i took care of my momma for 5 years and 3 months before she pass i got help i wish i would of known it sooner must of the cost came out my pocket....and i had family that saw what i was going through but none offered a helpin hand....I DID IT!!! and PROUD OF IT!!!
 

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