Should parents be in nursing homes or should the children take on the responsibility

Enigma_01

Active Member
MEMBER
Aug 14, 2003
29
0
When my grandmother was alive she slowly got sick and my mother took on the bulk of the responsibility of her care. There are six children and they all took parent except one. Now my grandfather is having health problems. So do you think it's right to put a parent in a home or try to do it yourself?
 

soul_doctor73

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 24, 2003
169
2
The answer is as simple as deciding what is more valuable to you: personal time or your grandfather. If life were different and we didn't have to pay for every single thing you weren't born into, the choice would be conceivably simple.

Since life is not, the choice is a difficult one. Personally, as long as I have a roof over my head and a bed, my elders have them too. I would sleep on the floor before sending them to paid 'care'.

This is my personal perspective, not a suggestion to you.
 

Enigma_01

Active Member
MEMBER
Aug 14, 2003
29
0
My grandfather remarried six years ago and his wife just bailed on him because she couldn't handle taking care of him and dealing with his children. I personally think she is a cold -hearted B&$#@!
 

soul_doctor73

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 24, 2003
169
2
Of course you do. But personal perspectives are often biased.

As for her, though you may not excuse it, she prefers to consider her values above that of her husband. Such things remain for God to judge. Do you think it coincidence that all this happened to her and you and your family?

Every person affected by this is tested by this. Each of you with your own perspectives, even her.
 

vj57

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Dec 25, 2003
131
6
Devoted Daughter

My best friend from high school is an example of a daughter who went above and beyond the call of duty. She is the eldest child and when her mother was seriously ill, she was able to keep her mother for several days at a time and work at come.

There were 10 children, but my friend insisted that Mom would come and stay with her. This woman loved her mother without question and her mother was always there for her. As a matter of fact, this mother was a "mother" to me. One of the most loving mothers on the face of this earth, God rest her soul.

She died recently. And her daughter was just heart broken, but rested assured that she took care of her mother until the end.

We have the same story; me losing my mother also. And now I have an 80 year old dad who is still in his right mind and I wouldn't DARE throw him in a nursing home.

It's amazing how a mother or father can take care of more than seven kids, but those seven or more kids can't take care of one parent.

I see how many people have built in-law suites onto their new homes. And it makes me smile to see parents with their children and the grandparents on vacation. Even if the grandparents are in wheelchairs or on oxygen.

I remember a strong, robust man in my father. Now he is elderly and frail. And I don't like the way some of my siblings treat him. They live closer to him than I do and are always critical of him. Yet he raised them and they never missed a darn meal.

My friend is still mourning and I know she will never get over this, but she's strong and know that God is pleased with her. Her father is elderly, too and he is in good hands with the other children looking after him.

I have decided to spend some time at a nursing home (this is a volunteer opportunity at my job) because older people are neglected. My dad is overjoyed to see his grandchildren, especially my kids. My daughter loves him dearly and she is always checking in on him and there is that spark in his eyes when she's around.

It depends on every situation. One of my friends had to deal with a mother with Alzheimers. Her mother was really bad off, would be abusive to her daughter and the nurses. For a lady in her 90s, she packed a powerful punch. They had to put her in a nursing home, but my friend was at the home EVERY night - I mean every night.

When her mother had a stroke on a Christmas Day and was in a coma, her and husband brought Mom home. She was offered a job, but told the employer that she needed to be with her mother. She was told that death was imminent in less than two weeks. Her mother died New Years Day 2002. This was a hard ordeal for my friend because she was an only child, but she had a loving and supportive husband and children.

Her mother left everything to her and my friend has a look of relief on her these days. It was hard to lose her mother, but I told her that she is an example of a loving child who took care of her mother until the end.
 

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