Black Parenting : Seeking advice from my elders

Hermetic

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 30, 2015
525
179
Yep, they ain't trying to hear about those Pampers you bought that time..LOL

It's amazing what people think constitutes Child Support. And, because of their misconceptions, when they get their actual orders they feel cheated. And, that's when they decide they want custody.

The OP says that he has enough money to pay Mom's college tuition, and support her and the two children. So, he will be paying much more than $500/month, imho.
What I find amazing is the massive assumptions you are making in your post. You assume people who where giving him advice did not understand what child support is. I saw no indication that anyone other than the original poster was ignorant of what it entails. Also, you display a bias towards men in that you assume those who want to acquire custody of their children only desire to do so to avoid child support. From many of the situations I have seen notated in various forms of media, those who take that path are a small minority. To essentially disparage men's reasoning to gain custody of their children in the manner you have, exposes a bit of a misandrist bias.

Last bits of advice for the brother who asked. Learn to wait until you are married to have children, wear a condom before that point no matter what. Also, If you think you may want more children in the future, have some of your sperm stored and get a vasectomy (Even with the vasectomy always wear a condom when not married). Too many of our people allow emotions (Lust in this case) to override good sense, and so make poor decisions that have long lasting consequences. Since you are now enlightened to how shortsighted decision making can lead to long term struggles, maybe learn to hedge your bets and protect yourself from now on.

Last, focus on paying your child support, finishing Nursing school, and creating a home environment that will be conducive to raising well adjusted young ladies. You can not control what the mother does, so your main focus should be on doing what is in the best interest of your daughters. Doing the above three I mentioned will go a long way in helping your case for full custody of your girls.
 

Liberty

Banned
MEMBER
Aug 28, 2015
6,914
1,212
What I find amazing is the massive assumptions you are making in your post. You assume people who where giving him advice did not understand what child support is. I saw no indication that anyone other than the original poster was ignorant of what it entails. Also, you display a bias towards men in that you assume those who want to acquire custody of their children only desire to do so to avoid child support. From many of the situations I have seen notated in various forms of media, those who take that path are a small minority. To essentially disparage men's reasoning to gain custody of their children in the manner you have, exposes a bit of a misandrist bias.

Last bits of advice for the brother who asked. Learn to wait until you are married to have children, wear a condom before that point no matter what. Also, If you think you may want more children in the future, have some of your sperm stored and get a vasectomy (Even with the vasectomy always wear a condom when not married). Too many of our people allow emotions (Lust in this case) to override good sense, and so make poor decisions that have long lasting consequences. Since you are now enlightened to how shortsighted decision making can lead to long term struggles, maybe learn to hedge your bets and protect yourself from now on.

Last, focus on paying your child support, finishing Nursing school, and creating a home environment that will be conducive to raising well adjusted young ladies. You can not control what the mother does, so your main focus should be on doing what is in the best interest of your daughters. Doing the above three I mentioned will go a long way in helping your case for full custody of your girls.

I was being sarcastic. Lighten up Hermetic

I wasn't speaking of people on this thread alone, I was commenting on people I know in real life as well.
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
PREMIUM MEMBER
Feb 19, 2001
27,082
7,831
Detroit
Occupation
Chemist
Likewise Dad is not a better parent because he has more money. Especially, since it's been five years and he has not secured shelter for his children, Mom did. And, the fact that she as had to rely on government assistance will be held against him, big time, seeing that he has so much money he can afford to send Mom to college. The courts will also mandate that each child has his/her own living space ( or bedroom)

There ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from seeing that my minor child was not living in substandard conditions while I had the resources to move him into a decent home, if it were me. And, that is what the Family Court will be considering when they weigh the parents.

Just sayin'......

People are talking who obviously do not understand the CONCEPT of FAMILY LAW and CHILD SUPPORT. AfroArab, won't stand a chance in court, unfortunately.

I am sympathetic to the fact that most people have misconceptions about what child support is and what courts look at when discerning custody. It's usually quite surprising to some folks. What YOU think is logic, means absolutely nothing ACCORDING TO THE LAW.

Let's be real here. Baby momma qualifies as a skank. Multiple children by different fathers. Nothing in her head says, get on the pill and stop having kids. Having another kid while on ADC is frowned on by FOC. I think he should just take the kids. File for custody. She cant afford to fight it





.
 

Liberty

Banned
MEMBER
Aug 28, 2015
6,914
1,212
Let's be real here. Baby momma qualifies as a skank. Multiple children by different fathers. Nothing in her head says, get on the pill and stop having kids. Having another kid while on ADC is frowned on by FOC. I think he should just take the kids. File for custody. She cant afford to fight it





.
That is your opinion. That alone would be meaningless to the courts though.

And, I want to remind you that you didn't go all in on Stevie Wonder like this, and Stevie has FIVE baby mamas.

*smile*
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
PREMIUM MEMBER
Feb 19, 2001
27,082
7,831
Detroit
Occupation
Chemist
That is your opinion. That alone would be meaningless to the courts though.

And, I want to remind you that you didn't go all in on Stevie Wonder like this, and Stevie has FIVE baby mamas.

*smile*


It's an educated one. And education gotten thru the courts btw.

Stevie Wonder isn't on welfare living with his mom. He also married most of them. Your analogy is both biased and bogus :10900:





.
 

Consciousness Raising Online!

Latest profile posts

Nahshon wrote on Gracious's profile.
Gracious Queen I hope you do come back to destee...I see last time you were online here was 6 years ago on my birthday...I was probably probably taking a puff on that good 'ol stuff at the time...maybe sitting back sipping Coffee, Tea, or Wine...I just had to go back and read your previous posts.
Moved back to the Borough of my birth...Queens New York...Originally from SouthSide but now I live in Far Rockaway.
Clarity to pursue my mission in 2020
Destee wrote on Omowale Jabali's profile.
Hi Brother O! YAAAAAY! Good to see you! Hoping all is well with you and yours! Happy New Year! :heart:
Destee wrote on King Tubbs's profile.
Hi Brother - so good to see you in the house again! Hoping all is well with you and yours! Happy New Year Beloved! :heart:
Top