Black Poetry : Relationships, Common Dreams. It seems like a dream. I want it to be so.

HODEE

Alonewolf
MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
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Relationships, Common Dreams. It seems like a dream. I want it to be so.

I was walking down the street and I saw someone I knew. I was standing talking and you walked up. A friend of ours came up to me the other day and said you were mad at me. They told me you hated me. I want to talk with you. I want to clear the air. I want to love you. I want to be your friend at least. You still mean so much to me. Someone I still care about. Someone I still had feelings for. I saw someone I still loved. I waved and looked at them waiting at least to be acknowledged. It didn’t happen. I thought maybe they didn’t see me. They were looking straight at me. They were staring at me too. I never forget someone. Especially a face. I may forget their name. Because I get so busy. So much on my mind sometimes. So many people I know. Then again I just drew a blank moment. My sharp mind just failed me especially when I need it to react to the situation. How could they not see me? Do I wave again?

I possess no pride, that I over ride how I think and feel. I have no self thoughts of revenge. Thoughts that keep me from being honest with how I feel. Thoughts that keep me from doing something others would never do. Like saying I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I care about you.

I feel this way about you and you’re special. I think about you all the time. Sharing desires to be needed by them desires to be wanted by them too. I miss you. I miss your smile.

I love you. I love you so much. I have no problem saying any of those things. I’m not perfect. I know they misunderstand something about me. I’m not complex. But I know they misunderstood something about me. I don’t mix words. But do know they misunderstood something about me. I was misjudged. I was slow to see. I misunderstood the intent of my actions. Something happened to cause this situation. I search for answers after it smacks me clear in the face. Usually after they have gone. Left my life. Vanished into the ether.

But I see them now. Standing clear as day. Right in front of me. So I do wave again. This time I approach them. Not in a bold way. Because I do not believe intimidation will win at this point. It is a delicate situation. Because I feel the emotion of patching this misunderstanding up is important to me. I at least would like to clear the air.

We may never be friends again. We may never again be lovers. It may be the way I find peace. Inner peace within myself. A resolution. I want to say I am sorry. I would like to add I miss you. Even though I know we will never come together again. I have to say something. If I could hold you that would make a difference. Around your waist was my favorite place to hold you by my side. But I would settle for a hand shake, hand held look into your eyes.

While we talk. I so much want to talk with you. I have so much I need to say. I apologize. Hand holding. Touching. I believe the intimacy is transferred that way.

Also I want you take me serious.
I want you to know.

I miss you.

I still need you.

I still want you.

I still love you so.

I am sorry things had to end this way. The way they were before. I’m sorry things had to end this way need I say more? Now I have new direction in my life. I have matured and grown since we were last together. I’m wiser more aware. I’m sorry things had to end that way. Need I say more? :hearts2: My heart is no longer injured. :injured: Now I can sleep. I feel better now. One by one we will meet agin. I will go thru the same thing to try and win a friend. Life can be short. Life can be long. We don't and aren't promised tomorrow. So I do this as I go along. I am at peace.
 

watzinaname

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Oct 4, 2003
16,326
116
Northeast
So much was conveyed in this piece, and each touched me. Sometimes pride gets in the way of saying sorry because we feel it will make us lose face. Yet if we wait too long to say it, we could lose what could have possibly been gained---a relationship, if not a love, then at least a friendship. Much can happen with time, bitterness can grow, but so can forgiveness if the right feelings are conveyed, if they are conveyed in a timely fashion. The concept of time can mean so much.
You also spoke of feelings. If you truly love, those feelings seem to hold on forever, don't they? Despite words said, and actions displayed, it's as though the love has a vise hold upon you. I suppose this is why we hurt so much when relationships end, because those feelings, haven't. What makes me smile is that you are now at peace despite it all. Peace...It's what we all search for. Sorry to be so long winded, but I really felt this piece. Peace.

LOL...I had another thought, had to add this though. You added the concept of friends to the mix. Some 'friends" are anything but. And will spend more time trying to destroy something that you have, than trying to do what is best for you and your relationship. We are to be very leery of
those...
 

gempis

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 5, 2003
4,020
32
Seattle, WA
Occupation
strength coach
Beautifully expressed courage, love and grace, brothah HODEE. I really respect this piece to the maximum.
 

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