Parents Separated from their Children

Who is responsible for maintaining contact?

  • It depends on the reason for the separation (incarceration/geographic separation/loss of custody/etc

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • It depends on the age of the child; if the child is old enough, he/she should initiate contact.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The responsibility should not fall on one of the three parties; e.g., custodial parent, non-custodia

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Regardless of the situation, the non-custodial parent should be responsible for maintaining contact

    Votes: 2 50.0%
  • Regardless of the situation, the child--by a certain age--should be responsible for maintaining cont

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • Regardless of the situation, the custodial parent should be responsible for maintaining contact betw

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    4
  • Poll closed .

Destee

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Haaaaaaay Nia Mae ... thanks for accepting the "mission" :)

It is always the parents responsibility to guide, lead, direct and show the child, regardless of the child's age, how to be a good parent (whether living with the child or not). No matter how old the child becomes, the parent ALWAYS has more age, HOPEFULLY more wisdom and LORD WILLING the patience needed to see and meet the needs of their child. The child learns from its parents how to be a parent (among other things), and oftentimes, will do for their child, the way their parent did for them. There should be many examples of wisdom, longsuffering, and unconditional love passed on from parent to child ... for generations to come.

Unfortunately, not every parent has such wisdom. Whether their parents failed to share it with them, or they didn't pay attention during those life classes ... they are raising children who don't know what it's like to have parents willing to go to the ends of earth, and back, for them. It is certainly possible for the child to go against the grain, against all they have seen and heard, and do the opposite ... but it is more likely for them to do what they've seen, thus perpetuating this cycle ... for generations to come.

It is BOTH parents responsibility to teach the child how to be a responsible parent. If there are things the custodial parent can do to help encourage and foster a loving relationship for the child and non-custodial parent, they should do that. Each parent must put "self" aside, for the sake of the child.

I didn't see an option above for "both parents being responsible" ... so I didn't vote.

:heart:

Destee

ps ... I understand that tension, anger, dissapointment, and maybe even hate flows from custodial parent to non-custodial parent in abundance, but know that your child is absorbing all of this negativity, with no ability to process it properly ... you are hurting them even more.
 

Destee

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Sherykah said ...
Tell me how do you tell your children that you are sometimes a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS?
Parents make mistakes, all parents. If one parent is doing something that doesn't make sense, doesn't seem wise ... even seems stupid ... the other parent must pick up the slack ... just as you did Sherykah. The bottom line is that each parent must TEACH their children how to love, respect and forgive BOTH parents ... so their children's children ... will know how to love, respect and forgive them.

Failing to teach our children to love and forgive is negligent.

Great Topic Nia :toast:

:heart:

Destee
 

ZeroGravity

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Destee I think you're right on the money...I agree wholeheartedly with your comments.
 

Nia Maishani

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Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Destee, Sherykah and ZeroGravity.

Great responses, and I agree with you as well Destee, though I have another opinion as well. My option that says it should not be the responsibility of [only] one of the parties would probably fit your response, I think. I do have one question though, suppose the non-custodial parent (NCP) feels it is his/her child's responsibility and/or that of his/her ex- to initiate and maintain the contact? Then, is it again the custodial parent's (CP) responsibility to take up the slack there as well, or perhaps the child's responsibility to take up the NCP's slack?

I pose this question after having heard from yet a THIRD father that it is his child's responsibility to get in contact with him on a regular basis. I would like to expand much further, but will hold the remainder of the story until further responses are made to the question/poll. Thank you all again for your feedback on this.

Nia
 

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