Black Relationships : Not interested in "Good" relationships...

ZeroGravity

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Jul 12, 2002
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I was listening to talk-show host on my way home and she was saying what she wanted to talk about on her show on Thursday.

Thursday, we're going to talk about relationships...not the good ones but the bad relationships out there. Who wants to hear about good relationships anyway? How much fun would that be?

Then she reference an article either in Ebony or Essence that apparently talks about relationships with drama, that is the kind of relationship she wanted to talk about.

Why is it that we don't want to talk about "good" relationships? Is talking about "good" relationships (other than your own :) boring? Does listening to others talk about "good" things make us feel somewhat inadequate in our own relationship? Would you want to know what other people are doing to create those "good" relationships to perhaps help or inspire us in dealing with our own?

Would you be bored stiff if you were in a discussion talking about "good" relationships? Would you think the ones talking about their "good" relationship was bragging or being a little condesending? or would you look at them as being genuine?

What do you think?
 

Enthralled

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Apr 17, 2003
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Hi Zero,

I think that it is just human nature to focus on the bizzare and the bad news. Almost any message board you visit in cyberspace will have a gazillion posts about some silly drama. But there will be many fewer posts about more uplifting things.

Notice the number of posts about interracial dating or Do (insert race here) men hate women?

Several years ago some network (CNN I believe, but I could be wrong) attempted to have a "good news" telecast.
HAH! How long do you think that lasted?:lol: :lol:
 

ZeroGravity

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Enthralled...I hear ya! If you want to know about finances...you wouldn't talk about the experiences of a street peddler; so I'm thinking if you want to know about relationships, you wouldn't want to talk about the "bad" ones...I would think you would want to hear from those that have found a way to make them successful. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten it right yet :)

I appreciate you responding.
 

Nia Maishani

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Nov 22, 2001
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My two cents...

I think some folk want to discuss "bad" relationships because they sincerely wish to arrive at and examine the root of the problems that cause relationships to sour. If we can get at and examine root causes of relationship problems, perhaps we can THEN overstand how to make and keep our relationship "good" or better. Most of us seek improvement, even if we are at a point where everything is really rather well.

On the other hand, there are those who really are entertained by hearing about and/or discussing OTHERS' "bad" relations (perhaps to make their own or lack thereof seem more tolerable), or if they have a habit of discussing their own problems in a relationship, perhaps the motive is a desire for help or consolation.

Personally, at times when I WAS in what seemed a "good" relationship, I enjoyed sharing details of those experiences with my closest sisterfriend. Not an attempt to boast or be condescending, but I think it is natural to want to let others know (even the world, if it is REALLY serious) when you are elated in your union.

That's my opinion.
 

ZeroGravity

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Jul 12, 2002
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Nia...great comments :)

Being that this lady was a talk-show host, I understand (to a degree) why she would focus on the "bad" relationships as a topic of discussion...more audience participation and probably more entertaining. Personally, I would like to know how couples are making their relationships successful (I'm always hearing or reading about the "bad" ones), something that somewhat appears to be rare in the makeup of society today.

I have some insight on "bad" relationships lol ... I want to gain a difference perspective on sharing a "good" one.

Thanks for responding...very insightful
 

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