Black Relationships : Never dated a Black Man or Woman?

[Willy Bravo]

Has anyone who has/is dating IR have a strong desire to date a BM or BW, but was starved of black companionship for whatever reason (wasn’t raised around black people, no desirable partners available, missed opportunities, etc.)?

I’ve heard a few inputs on this. I know some brothers who felt burned by BW are happy in their IR relationships and intend to only pursue IR. Some ladies felt beaten down by BM and remain single or pursue IR also. And some want to be with BW or BM but circumstances or environment made that difficult. Deep down, many will long for a black partner, especially when long term commitment, marriage, and kids come into the picture. I currently fall in the latter.

It’s a challenging thought to navigate. You ponder about how good your relationship is and if it would be worth losing for something you may never find or may end up regretting later.

With that thought in mind, do you believe it is in most peoples best interest to just be in relationships with whoever is at your disposal irregardless of color as long as they are conscious and enrich your life?

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

 

[Hermetic]

I've dated an Asian girl and White girl before as a teenager. I've also interacted with plenty of women from various ethnic groups via work and play. I don't care what ethnic group someone decides to date, but I will give my reason for only seeking out Black women once I was ready to marry and start a family. What I learned dealing with women of other ethnic groups is that they can sympathize (feel sorry or pity for us) with us, what they seem to be unable to do is empathize (place themselves in our shoes) with us. So I realized a woman who is not Black would never truly understand what our people go through. She would never truly understand me as a wife should understand her husband and vice-versa. In that lack of understanding, I also felt it would leave our children confused and poorly prepared for the world.

 

[Senegal]

Has anyone who has/is dating IR have a strong desire to date a BM or BW, but was starved of black companionship for whatever reason (wasn’t raised around black people, no desirable partners available, missed opportunities, etc.)?

I’ve heard a few inputs on this. I know some brothers who felt burned by BW are happy in their IR relationships and intend to only pursue IR. Some ladies felt beaten down by BM and remain single or pursue IR also. And some want to be with BW or BM but circumstances or environment made that difficult. Deep down, many will long for a black partner, especially when long term commitment, marriage, and kids come into the picture. I currently fall in the latter.

It’s a challenging thought to navigate. You ponder about how good your relationship is and if it would be worth losing for something you may never find or may end up regretting later.

With that thought in mind, do you believe it is in most peoples best interest to just be in relationships with whoever is at your disposal irregardless of color as long as they are conscious and enrich your life?

Personally I see IR dating as a lack of discipline and commitment. I dont mean this necessarily in a bad way. Its human behavior to rationalize a lack of discipline and commitment. When you date you make a choice. No matter how nice looking a woman is no one is forcing you to date them. This was brought home to me every time I dated outside the African race. Invariably I would see a fine sista when I was with a woman from another race and regret not being able to step to her. I found that no matter how conscious a non Black woman was she simply couldnt relate to me like a Black woman could. This ability to relate was extremely important to me. I also understood later that just the optics of me being with a non Black woman was another slap at Black women regardless of if I meant it or not. I almost got married to a Thai woman that was definitely down for me but just that lack of being able to relate caused me not to make that step. Luckily I met my Black queen and got more from that joining than I could ever imagine. I wont judge another Black person for dating outside their race but I dont consider them 100% committed to the Black race.

 

[brutervrot]

I met a girl, there was one date, we met on this site meetville.com/catalog/us/cg-1-interracial/5287/indian, I have not met before. It was great, but she went home.