"Mother... Father... we need to talk...

What is your response to your children?

  • NOT ACCEPTABLE, PERIOD. This conversation is over!

    Votes: 2 28.6%
  • Remain calm, hear them out, see if we can negotiate the situation.

    Votes: 2 28.6%
  • Respect their feelings/wishes/choices as adults and support them as their loving parents.

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • Seek counseling for the whole family.

    Votes: 4 57.1%

  • Total voters
    7

Destee

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Nia Maishani said:
...my brother/sister and I are in love and want to marry. We've already been intimate."
Hello Sister Nia Mae ... let me know if i prove myself a hypocrite ... :wink:

It was not enough that the Brother and Sister are in love and want to marry, but they've already been intimate too! Gosh!

In all seriousness, this situation does not "slip up" on parents who are doing their job. Having sex is a choice. You didn't mention if this Sister and Brother are minors, but unfortunately, both minors and adults are having sex. How they have sex, who they have sex with, if they have sex, is just a decision. It is the parents job to teach their children how to make good decisions, as life is filled with them. If you are doing this as your child grows up, beginning at the beginning, you will be aware of the decisions they make and adjusting their process accordingly ... and something like this could never happen.

Actually Sister Nia Mae ... :) ... this particular topic came up in the raising of my children. I have a 25 yr old son and a 19 yr old daughter ... and years ago i read in Dear Abby where this woman needed advice because her daughter was pregnant by her son. She had innocently allowed them to sleep together as young children and time had passed and they had continued and they got pregnant. I don't remember their ages, but i stopped right then and talked to my son about it. I explained, as i had been doing all along, how he is to love and protect his Sister, making sure that no one ever tries to violate her in any way. We talked specifically and explicity about Brothers and Sisters having sex with each other and how it should never ever ever happen. I explained, as always, that he is the oldest and because of that, all responsibility was on his shoulders, not only in this situation but in all things where his Sister is concerned. He is her protector, and will forever be that.

Some may say that my stressing that it should never ever ever happen, may imply that i thought it might. That's not true. As a parent, one must cover every single base, leave no stone unturned ... not one, when it comes to the stable, rooted, grounded, solid, spiritual, emotional, physical welfare of your children ... take chances with nothing because their entire well-being is at stake. Be very open with them and they will be open with you. Let them always hear about it from you first, if possible, whatever it is. You teach them, don't let someone else. This stuff is happening, let it not catch your baby by surprise.

Lawd ... i think i dun started preach'n !!! :)

I'll end as i started, it's just a decision. Some have greater consequences than others, and we've all made some bad ones. When i made my bad ones, my Mother never left my side, and i will never leave my children's.

I think too, if we see some terrible thing in a child, look at the parent(s).

As always Sister Nia ... Great Topic ... :toast:

:heart:

Destee
 

Nia Maishani

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I thank you much for your response, Sister Destee

My replies are intertwined into your previous commentary, displayed in color

Destee said:
Hello Sister Nia Mae ... let me know if i prove myself a hypocrite ... :wink:

It was not enough that the Brother and Sister are in love and want to marry, but they've already been intimate too! Gosh!

In all seriousness, this situation does not "slip up" on parents who are doing their job.

And would you say a situation such as alternative sexual orientation (other than Heterosexual) "slip up" on parents who are doing their job, or not?

Having sex is a choice. You didn't mention if this Sister and Brother are minors, but unfortunately, both minors and adults are having sex.

Let us assume they are at least 18 each (could even be fraternal twins).

How they have sex, who they have sex with, if they have sex, is just a decision.

Many homosexuals would beg to differ, no they would INSIST you are wrong on this point (but I personally agree with you).

It is the parents job to teach their children how to make good decisions, as life is filled with them. If you are doing this as your child grows up, beginning at the beginning, you will be aware of the decisions they make and adjusting their process accordingly ... and something like this could never happen.

Let's not ever say "never". Many parents out there are struggling with their little toddler-aged youngsters, and having a terrible time disciplining them. Also, do we not agree that regardless of how well a job a parent does parenting, there is still a possibility that the child(ren) will go wayward anyway?

Actually Sister Nia Mae ... :) ... this particular topic came up in the raising of my children. I have a 25 yr old son and a 19 yr old daughter ... and years ago i read in Dear Abby where this woman needed advice because her daughter was pregnant by her son. She had innocently allowed them to sleep together as young children and time had passed and they had continued and they got pregnant. I don't remember their ages, but i stopped right then and talked to my son about it. I explained, as i had been doing all along, how he is to love and protect his Sister, making sure that no one ever tries to violate her in any way . We talked specifically and explicity about Brothers and Sisters having sex with each other and how it should never ever ever happen. I explained, as always, that he is the oldest and because of that, all responsibility was on his shoulders, not only in this situation but in all things where his Sister is concerned. He is her protector, and will forever be that.

I thoroughly appreciate your sharing that. Gave me an idea for a totally new thread, and furthermore, I plan to take that piece of advice you gave your son (highlighted above) and offer it to my own son (who is now 8) -- :thanks: .

Some may say that my stressing that it should never ever ever happen, may imply that i thought it might. That's not true. As a parent, one must cover every single base, leave no stone unturned ...

Leave NO stone unturned. Amen & Ashe.

not one, when it comes to the stable, rooted, grounded, solid, spiritual, emotional, physical welfare of your children ... take chances with nothing because their entire well-being is at stake. Be very open with them and they will be open with you. Let them always hear about it from you first, if possible, whatever it is. You teach them, don't let someone else. This stuff is happening, let it not catch your baby by surprise.

Lawd ... i think i dun started preach'n !!! :)

Preach on, Preachette!

I'll end as i started, it's just a decision.

Suppose they truly are in love. I recall having seen talk shows back in the late '80's where brother-sister couples insisted they were madly & happily in love & could not imagine not being together (and were unwilling to sever their romantic ties).

Some have greater consequences than others, and we've all made some bad ones. When i made my bad ones, my Mother never left my side, and i will never leave my children's.

Amen to that, too.

I think too, if we see some terrible thing in a child, look at the parent(s).

Now wait a minute now, you had me aboutta start shoutin', then you cut me off with that one. I have to disagree somewhat on that. Yes, in most instances, a child's behavior & decision-making is a reflection of their upbringing/parents, however, we cannot blame it all on the parents. We can blame other forces as much as the parents. Telllievision for example. Other media such as movies & music. Many parents are doing an otherwise great job, except when they allow their children unsupervised & exhorbitant time with corruptive media outlets. Also, oftentimes, there are other family members aside from the parents (particularly if they live in the home with the child), even sitters/childcare workers, who can play a role in corrupting the child(ren).

As always Sister Nia ... Great Topic ... :toast:

:heart:

Destee
:toast: :heart:
 
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