Black Relationships : Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"

Can Men and Women be Platonic Friends


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HODEE

Alonewolf
PREMIUM MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
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https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
Researchers asked women and men "friends" what they really think—and got very different answers
The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.
Taken together, these studies suggest that men and women have vastly different views of what it means to be “just friends”—and that these differing views have the potential to lead to trouble. Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more.

This article has a lot of truth in it.
Men over estimate the ( relationship) Rela-Friend-Ship.
Women underestimate it.

I have had several friendships with women that never blossomed into sexual relationships.

While I would have quickly crossed from F to L ( friends to lovers) I kept the platonic relationship in perspective. It was very ..very tough.

So to be a Male Friend to a Lady, you either fall into Friend or Lover category.

A Male friend is called an Orbiter. Like a satellite circling earth. Like a spacecraft designed to go into orbit, one not intended to land.
 
Last edited:

Lunar Cycle

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Jul 16, 2017
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This has to be one of GODS deepest mysteries & I think even my Savior has to scratch his devine head in confusion. I cannot believe the millions of tax dollars not to mention the tens of thousands of man hours that have been wasted (Well not really wasted because it went into some undeserving individuals pockets) into seeking the obvious answers to this Earth shaking dilemma. Unless the so called male female just friends are the only two clear thinking humans on Earth such a oddball relationship will inevitably become problematic once one finds a lover then the original other half has now not only become the rather awkward third wheel but a nagging just under the surface threat to the new partner, especially if they continue their usual regimen of communication that will not only foment resentment but suspicion in the new partner & rightly so. There have been so many movies & TV shows touching on this rather life altering scenario that if you started watching them one after the other if you just started your career at 21 years of age, when you attended your own retirement party after thirty years with your company you'd still have about 5 years of movies & TV shows to watch.
 

jamesfrmphilly

going above and beyond
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Jun 18, 2004
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This has to be one of GODS deepest mysteries & I think even my Savior has to scratch his devine head in confusion. I cannot believe the millions of tax dollars not to mention the tens of thousands of man hours that have been wasted (Well not really wasted because it went into some undeserving individuals pockets) into seeking the obvious answers to this Earth shaking dilemma. Unless the so called male female just friends are the only two clear thinking humans on Earth such a oddball relationship will inevitably become problematic once one finds a lover then the original other half has now not only become the rather awkward third wheel but a nagging just under the surface threat to the new partner, especially if they continue their usual regimen of communication that will not only foment resentment but suspicion in the new partner & rightly so. There have been so many movies & TV shows touching on this rather life altering scenario that if you started watching them one after the other if you just started your career at 21 years of age, when you attended your own retirement party after thirty years with your company you'd still have about 5 years of movies & TV shows to watch.
on the one hand i try not to challenge anybody's beliefs.
on the other hand if you are going to make every thread a Christian diatribe you are pushing your beliefs on us.
please lighten up.

maybe you want to explore the religious section ????
 
Last edited:

skuderjaymes

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Nov 2, 2009
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on the one hand i try not to challenge anybody's beliefs.
on the other hand if you are going to make every thread a Christian diatribe you are pushing your beliefs on us.
please lighten up.

maybe you want to explore the religious section ????

:offtopic1:

Folks can speak through whatever philosophy they want. At least he/she did answer the question.
 

skuderjaymes

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Yes. If the definition of friendship is "not having sex", then it's completely possible. In fact, it's the most likely male-female relationship because men do not have sex with most of the women they know.. and vice versa.
 

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