Black Relationships : Is there any real "justification" for monogamy?

African_Prince

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Jan 1, 2005
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By 'monogamy', I don't mean simply choosing to have only one partner, I mean the agreement that you won't develop a sexual and/or romantic relationship with other people on condition that your partner do the same ; blackmailing your partner to not act on feelings they might have for other people with the threat of terminating your relationship with them if they do.

If you truly loved someone, you would want them to be happy, correct? If developing a sexual and/or romantic relationship with other people would make them happy, how can you say that you love them yet disapprove of something that would make them happy? Most people will proudly admit to being 'selfish', to wanting to keep their partner to themselves, I think this is possessive and objectifying. The world would be a lot better if love and sexual desire were no longer inhibited. Most people want variety (in their sex/romantic lives) whether they act on it or not.

I've said before that I think there are two kinds of love : selfless love(empathy) and selfish love (attachment). I think healthy relationships are based on empathy.
 

delsydebothom

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Oct 25, 2009
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Your question raises another: what are your thoughts on the intrinsic meaning of human sexuality?
 

African_Prince

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Jan 1, 2005
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Your question raises another: what are your thoughts on the intrinsic meaning of human sexuality?

I don't think there is any objective meaning or purpose to human sexuality. It was favored by natural selection because it resulted in reproduction, romance is probably an adaptation that ensures a couple stays together long enough for them to co-operate in child rearing. I think humans crave sexual contact and romantic love because there is no greater intimacy that you can share with someone. (positive) physical contact releases oxytocin (the 'love hormone') and nothing is more physically intimate than having sex, cuddling, tongue-kissing.
 

delsydebothom

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Oct 25, 2009
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I don't think there is any objective meaning or purpose to human sexuality. It was favored by natural selection because it resulted in reproduction, romance is probably an adaptation that ensures a couple stays together long enough for them to co-operate in child rearing. I think humans crave sexual contact and romantic love because there is no greater intimacy that you can share with someone. (positive) physical contact releases oxytocin (the 'love hormone') and nothing is more physically intimate than having sex, cuddling, tongue-kissing.
If you are coming at it with that concept of human sexuality, I suppose your conclusion about monogamy is rational. I think there are good reasons for disagreeing with that concept, though, and for thinking that man is more than a function of biology. Nevertheless, examining that question would require a starting place much earlier than the nature of sex.
 

blkbutterfly41

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Oct 25, 2009
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Hmmmmm Interesting. I actually don't beleive in monogamy. Its simply un-natural and unrealistic. We are taught to live monogamous lifestyle.


With that being said, we are not mentally prepared to have a polygamous marriages either. We have a long way to go.

I think when people think of mono verses poly. They go straight to the sex and the man . And polygamous marriages is far more then that. They had no OOW babies, No kids left as ophans. The wives had a strong sisterhood and love was deep in the root of the family structure. Biblically it was the norm. The Quran as well, condones Poly. Its unrealistic to think that 2 people get married at a young age and feelings and emotions stay the same until death. It rarely happens, and what actually happening is people are simply buying into the image and appearance of. And monogamy promotes deception and encoyrages cheating.

Not to mention that there are 5 women to 1 man. That leaves a whole lot of lonely , manless women and/or shared men.


Peace



 
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