Amun-Ra : Is It Time?

Amun-Ra

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Feb 15, 2001
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Dallas
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It is hard!

There is clearly a double standard in the black community--men like loose women--they just don't want to marry them--I believe that a woman has every right a man has BUT--the reality is that men hold women to a differnet standard when it come times to marry--our black male culture promotes male promiscuity--the more women the better--a woman can do the same thing BUT at some time in her life some man will hold her accountable--it aint fair, but life often isn't--the fact is few men want a ready made family, especially when they can find women without children--plus men take being men very seriously--among many men--getting married early is a sign of weakness--it is better to hold out--is this always true?--obviously not as witnessed by all the young people who marry--still, the fact remains that each year that a black woman moves past 25, her chances of marrying start to drop while the same is not true for black men--if she has children the chances of her not marrying nearly triples. If a woman happens to be less than attractive then the chances decrease while for men that is less of the case--is it time? We need to get some ladies in here and give us there opinion if its time or not?

Ra

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Thandiwe

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Mar 30, 2001
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Minnesota
so who are the fathers of all these women with children?

though i love black men, if i found someone who i was attracted to, had similar interests and same understanding or at least respect for each other perspective of life, enjoyed being around, etc. then yes, i would consider it.

alot of black men are in jail, gay, and/or unworthy so that reduces our pool to choose from.

i wonder why we place so much emphasis on being married. we are the only animals on this planet who use this concept. other species are not necessarily expected to stay with a mate for life. few do.

and seeing that there are more women than men then the stats are going to show more women unmarried.

also white girls live for the day they get married. they dream of the white dress, big wedding and perfect life from the prince charming. doesn't happen, they find out later. many of them are opting for single motherhood. it seems they too are CHOOSING to become single mothers. it's become a trend.

from my perspective. i don't mind not being married. i've seen the lives of my mother who left my abusive father. i witnessed such violence at a young age, one of my earliest memories at the age of 18 months. i witness an aunt who married 3 times. all of her relationships being abusive in other ways, including physical.

maybe some of us would rather do good on our own than doing bad with a man.
 

Amun-Ra

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MEMBER
Feb 15, 2001
1,868
13
Dallas
Occupation
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U got a point!

The old song says that "I can do bad by myself--I don'tneed no help to starve to death"--you make a very good point--perhaps it is time that women give men the boot or do what we do--use themwhen you need them--still, there are many sisters who want to be married, but because of all the circumstances you mentioned the pool of marriagle black men is shrinking--personally, I feel that "whatever" makes you happy is the way to go, but I know there is a lot of cultural baggage that goes along with as well as societal baggage that makes life difficult--still I think for those women who want to get married, they should not liit themselves to black men--we would not limit ourselves in anything else we would do including choice of career, where we live, who we associate with, or even what color car we drive--so why we would we limit ourselves in who we love? We need so more women to speak out--SPEAK to Me! Where do you stand?

Ra

:heart:
 

Thandiwe

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Mar 30, 2001
680
2
Minnesota
for the record

no we shouldn't just limit ourselves to black men.

we want to stick next to your brothas, we really do.
 

Thandiwe

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 30, 2001
680
2
Minnesota
you know, i don't know of too many women who have said, "i don't want to get married." okay, maybe those that have already been married before. :)

however, women have working, more independent, and don't have those same societal pressures to marry early and become the "happy homemaker" that was present in our parents days. i think we are just more willing to wait longer for that "one" to come along. and yes sometimes along the way, we have children. doesn't mean we are going in the wrong direction though.

if i man could love and take me and my child(ren) then he ain't the man for me. that goes for white, black, and all in between.

LOL! i guess this attitude is why i'm single today. ;)
 
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