Black Relationships : Is divorce the first option?


Well-Known Member
Jan 22, 2004
There are so many people now getting married just to divorce a few months or years later. It's becoming so common now, what's the use of marriage? Some religions look down on divorce and some accept it better. The same goes for individuals. I was wondering what you guys thought about divorce as a whole. There are lots of people divorcing over what seem to be petty problems instead of sticking it out and working through them. What are some acceptable reasons (in your opinions) for divorce, and when do you have to just stick it out and work on your relationship...without jumping ship?


Well-Known Member
Aug 24, 2002
The Diaspora
I'll be brief on this one...If you have only been married a few months/years, and you file for divorce, then you obviously married the wrong person. People get married for the wrong reasons: Money, fear of being lonely, etc. What are the right reasons? I can't say Kente..........that is really a personal choice. However if the marriage is over before it really began (a few months), those 2 people should not have crossed the alter in the 1st place.

Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
Hello Brother Kente417Mojo ... i like that Mojo thang ... :wink:

Is divorce the first option? I think that depends on what the first violation is.

Even then, we all weigh things differently, so what may be a great violation to me, may not even rank with you.

How long do you remain in a situation that you're unhappy in? ... how much is your peace and joy worth? ... are there any guarantees? ... if i stayed married 20 years, then divorced, would the marriage be considered more successful ... than if i divorced after 1 year?

I realize i'm answering your question, with more questions ... and that might be because i don't know the answer to your question ... lol ... :)

Great Topic!




Well-Known Member
Jan 22, 2004
Thanks Pan and Destee. I know, it is a hard question. Just like most things, it's mostly an individual decision. I was wondering, because like to some people and some religions, it's looked at in a disgraceful way if a person gets a divorce for anything other than adultery. Some would say that's the only reason. Even if your mate gambled all the money, got hooked on crack and beat you, some would say try to work it out.


Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2001
My two cents worth:

No, divorce shouldn't be the first option but it certainly should be one of them if all else fails and the couple realize that they've awakened from a fairy tale and reality doesn't seem so appealing. Do you know where most States now require that a couple attend premarital counseling? Well, the State of Michigan is considering making it mandatory for couples to also participate in predivorce counseling as well. In my opinion, for whatever reason a couple wants to get a divorce, let them. What value does it serve to force people to stay together when they don't want to? What I think people should be doing before they get married has nothing to do with it. Not everyone is like me and I know this. There will always be those who choose to do what they want and how they want so let the State make money off of them each time they marry and divorce. Unfortunately, if children are involved, they usually pay a greater price, but there are some things we can control and some we can't. Those of us that work in the family care field will just have to work harder to protect the children in situations like this. It's a two-edged sword.

My humble opinion....
Queenie :spinstar:

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