Black Relationships : Is divorce inevitable?

toylin

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May 17, 2004
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I'm a 24 year old wife and mother of one 7 moth old boy. We've been married for a little over a year. The problem is that he seems to be choosing his mother over me. Not to mention all the financial issues we've having (I had difficulty finding a job, so I enrolled in a technical program to train for a skill.. got 9 weeks left)... He said he doesn't think our marriage will last, and he also said he always felt that way.... That there's too much opposition. (His family are the only ones complaining, mainly, his mother). He said he'll wait until I finish school and get a job before making his final decision, but I can tell he really doesn't want to be here. I know he loves me, but he seems to love his mom more. Nothing wrong with loving your parents, but what about his wife and son? Also, I'm not sure I would want to try and make it work. Our whole relationship, it's been me against his mother. She claims that he's not a man, that I'm controlling him, but every decision that was made, he had final say so. But everytime she says jump, he asks How high?............

I just need advice, words of encourgement, Bible verses, Qu'ran verses.. anything to help. Thanks.

Toya
 

toylin

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Oops.. this shoud be moved to Relationships... sorry, Sister Destee.....
 

panafrica

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Aug 24, 2002
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Toylin:

It isn't necessary for you to move this thread. In the relationship forum you'll get more responses from men (if that is what you want); however, men do come on the sister forum too, this post is proof of that. I don't think divorce is inevidable, but unforunately it takes the love & desire of 2 people to make a marriage last. It appears to me that your husband is afraid of responsibility. It takes a lot to provide for a wife & a child, especially when one person is paying all the bills. A lot of people believe they are ready for this type of responsibility, but when faced with the reality...it is more difficult than they imagined. This can be especially true for someone at a young age...24. If I may ask what type of a father is your husband? Did he tell you about another woman? Have you and his mother ever gotten along? I'm just trying to get a better picture of the situation in order to give you advice.
 

caramelpython

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Nov 7, 2003
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my opinion

THis is a tough one to judge because of the bonds between man and wife and bonds between son and mother. One of the Ten Commandments is to Honor thy mother and father but in return that goes the same as a marriage.
Bottom line is if you love him and he loves you the both of you can work this out "remember for better or for worse" was the pledge you made. I myself willwalk through hell and high water for my mother but I also will let it be known to her that My wife and children are the 1st priority in my life. People will always try to come between your bond with him it's your duty to never allow then to break that bond. He is just trying to please 2 women and the problem seems like to me that the 2 of you dont get along that well? No divorce is not inevitable, just rember what pulled you two together and hold on to what you believe in.
"What God Has Put Together.... Let No Man Or Woman Tear Apart" :teach:
 

MANASIAC

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If he wants to divorce then I would go ahead and give him what he wants. If you two can get things back together again, you can always remarry.
 
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