Black Parenting : Irresponsible mothers..

Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
She has gotten a Immediate Temporary Restraining Order against him. Temporary until she goes before a judge. He will be removed from the home. Should already be gone.
Black women don't want to take these type of actions. We hate getting the system involved in our mans life. She tried and it didn't work. She and her children will be fine.
She filed for a 2 year restraining order yesterday.

Thank you Sister Destee for listening and replying. I did talk to her about being nieve(sp). I gave her my NO FEAR talk. She's got 3 kids, 2 girls. You don't got time for fear, you have to protect your kids from this man. Don't be afraid of what he may do.:hug:Big hugs for Sister Destee. I'm thinking how I haven't discussed her situation with anyone in RL. Talking about it here really helped me help her. :blowkiss:

I am so so so so soooooo proud of you! Thank You! ... :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

We hear talk of helping each other, helping our own, etc., but actually doing it ... takes more than talk!

It requires sacrifice, determination ... a host of things most are not willing to give, in spite of their talk.

We are not all built the same. Everyone cannot do what you have just done. We're simply not qualified.

I don't know that I could Sister. My patience is short and I just don't know if I could do it.

Even my own children, I can't hardly stand hearing about their love lives. I don't care. Live your life.

I don't want to hear the ins and outs of their relationships. I'm just not interested.

But you have to be interested in another's life, personal relationships, to do the job you did.

This is all about a young woman's personal choices getting her into trouble.

I am so glad that you have the Spirit to do this work, and are so great at it, that the youth listen.

That is a combination that is hard to come by as well.

One might be willing to do the work, but what if no one listens to them ... it will be for naught.

But you got the young lady to listen, not only listen, but act ... that is God.

I can't always get my own children to do those things in combination with each other.

Amazing Sister! ... :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

Now a young Family, young Mother and children, have a fighting chance of keeping their home and peace.

This is a lot Sister IFE ... bringing tears to my eyes.

Even her Mother said no more ... but you kept on believing things could be better for her.

Amazing. Thank You! ... :flowers:

I think you should talk about these types of situations. Let the world know there are folk trying to help.

If talking about it encouraged you, then that is even more reason to continue doing so.

We did nothing but listen ... you did all of the heavy lifting ... :weights:

Thanks again Sister! Love You!




Well-Known Member
Jan 20, 2015
Okay ... that was my point ... that you picked him to have sex with.

Many young ladies, myself included, pick men to have sex with that we should not be having sex with.

If I were smarter, wiser, I might have done different ... i suppose ... it's all water under the bridge now.

Who knows, I may have done the exact same thing ... there's no real way of knowing.

All we have is what we did ... the facts ... and anything else is pure conjecture.

Sister IFE ... let me say, with my whole heart, that you are so wonderful ... :grouphug:

Not everyone can take me talking to them as pointed as i've grown to do over the years.

Especially as it relates to anything personal ... OMG ... not everyone can do this ... :flowers:

I am honored to be able to have this discussion with you ... :bowdown:

I admire your willingness to stay in this with me ... :)

Sister Sister Sister ... Thank You Thank You Thank You! ... :love:

Much Much Love and Peace.




ps ... i am not going to speak on your ex-husband but since you put it out here, it's not good to talk ugly about him ... even no matter what he did ... he is still your Son's Father and due a certain amount of respect even if he never did anything else in his whole life ... you even say that he protected you from the drugs, you never saw them, he never turned you out, none of that ... which would have been do-able considering your naivety ... plus and in closing ... being naive does not make one a victim ... i mean ... you can claim it ... but the key is to learn and not be naive ... the world will always eat the naive alive ... they will just be eaten and dead ... gone from the planet ... and their victim status will mean nothing, if they can lay claim to it ... it's not a free pass ... just say you were naive ... we all have been ... that in and of itself, does not equal victim. If you are a victim due to naivety, then you are a victim of your naivety, not necessarily a victim of the person taking advantage of your naivety ... if you see what i mean? Okay ... you have given me a green light to talk ... but i'm finna stop ... i promise ... Love You! :kiss:


I was not and am not naive to the world in general. I was naive to HIS WORLD that included drug use and addiction.
I was still living in my normal world of working, volunteering, going out with girlfriends, taking care of my son. That was my life.

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