We chose each other to be roommates because we were friends. The sex was just because. I've never felt like a victim in that marriage. I can only look back at the marriage in retrospect, since I didn't know he was a drug addict during the marriage. The marriage was a fraud. I do wonder how naive I was to not see so much.
I was a victim for a long time from being attacked with a man hiding in my car. I had to force and teach myself to stop feeling like a victim.
I do give him credit for not ever letting me see him do drugs, and especially for not introducing me to drugs.
He is not a good person.
His older son, by another woman, drove his truck thru his father house. He was full of anger at his father. He told my son, from prison, to stay away from him. He is not a good person. He was never there for him. He didn't show up for him when he was arrested. Never came to court. He served 25 years in prison and his father never came to visit.
Okay ... that was my point ... that you picked him to have sex with.
Many young ladies, myself included, pick men to have sex with that we should not be having sex with.
If I were smarter, wiser, I might have done different ... i suppose ... it's all water under the bridge now.
Who knows, I may have done the exact same thing ... there's no real way of knowing.
All we have is what we did ... the facts ... and anything else is pure conjecture.
Sister IFE ... let me say, with my whole heart, that you are so wonderful ...
Not everyone can take me talking to them as pointed as i've grown to do over the years.
Especially as it relates to anything personal ... OMG ... not everyone can do this ...
I am honored to be able to have this discussion with you ...
I admire your willingness to stay in this with me ...
Sister Sister Sister ... Thank You Thank You Thank You! ...
Much Much Love and Peace.
ps ... i am not going to speak on your ex-husband but since you put it out here, it's not good to talk ugly about him ... even no matter what he did ... he is still your Son's Father and due a certain amount of respect even if he never did anything else in his whole life ... you even say that he protected you from the drugs, you never saw them, he never turned you out, none of that ... which would have been do-able considering your naivety ... plus and in closing ... being naive does not make one a victim ... i mean ... you can claim it ... but the key is to learn and not be naive ... the world will always eat the naive alive ... they will just be eaten and dead ... gone from the planet ... and their victim status will mean nothing, if they can lay claim to it ... it's not a free pass ... just say you were naive ... we all have been ... that in and of itself, does not equal victim. If you are a victim due to naivety, then you are a victim of your naivety, not necessarily a victim of the person taking advantage of your naivety ... if you see what i mean? Okay ... you have given me a green light to talk ... but i'm finna stop ... i promise ... Love You!