Black Poetry : I Feel Like I've

Nahshon

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Sep 20, 2001
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Nahshon.Swanston
Feel like I've...​
Feel like I've died inside...
From self always tried to hide...
but the illumination of self always opens eyes when walking in the light...
I live to love...and Love to live...
so tired of being man walking alone...
so tired of living without being home...
so tired of the same old sh!+ everyday...
I told you I am not gonna pimp, punk out or play...
I will dedicate my heart to only one...
Want my son her daughter and another son...
Yet you think now I am lying...
If you need I'll write my life in blood...
till bullets wrench my body and all that's heard is a thud...
the sound of my body hitting ground...
You don't care...stop lying...
I love you that's not changing...
growth is a daily thing...
even from rock bottom...
Living in cathouses with men who aren't real men...
Living in whorehouses with women who aren't real women...
Nature meant for man to be with woman...and woman to be with man...
I am not discriminating just keeping it natural...
Still refusing to pimp little girls to make my ones...
Still have secrets need to share with her...
Yet it's not for the world to hear...
This will be my last blog entry...
till the day she whispers in my ear...
that she can't stand it anymore...
I will not walk as a n!.g.g.a no more...
cause that's not how I started...
I started as a boy...
that played with little toys...
I've grown to become a man...
Trying to do all I can...
To keep a dime in the pocket...
While governments building rockets
targeted at enemy self...
World conditions bad for the health
of all life...
this world we must change...
Yet it takes the strength of more than one...
Solomon said "there is nothing new under the sun"
Yet new days come day after day...
Man tries to change things for the better yet man can never change...
Without the assistance of Jah...
The provider, the giver and forgiver of all things...
Me??? I'm not looking for the bling bling...
At least not for me...
Just want to be content with family...
Have a house to call home,
Vehicle to roam
Princess cut diamond in platinum setting on the finger of the one I love...
While I wear myself thin in working gloves...
showing her all that I am...
Once again believe me I am just a man...
And though I've shared all that I can with the world...
No one reaches out to me to help me get my girl...
I know she has love...
She just has a funny way of showing it...
I'm trying to find a job...more than that of poet...
I know that poetry for me aint paying the rent...
especially since others think my poetry lame...
yet the words I write are now just truth...
Belief in God and self and you...
I trust you with my very life...
Man among men...
I want my wife...
tired of living the street life...
Yet if that's what I have to do...
to get through to you...
than that's what I'll live...
Just gotta know for my minds sake and so I know I am not wasting my time...
give me some incentive...
to continue on without the filth and grime
that I've come to know...
Living for the city...and still poor
Not fearful of what all others say...
F**k you if you think I'm gay...
Just saving myself for one...
Don't care about no one else...
Don't care if my brother says she's no good for my health...
She's the one who does it for me...
The only one who really challenges me...
Though tested I am everyday...
By women who walk and flirt and play...
Though I may flirt a bit...me they can't catch...
Unless they can find a way to give me what I need...
yet they can't cause it's only she...
I know this sounds like an obsessive rant...
but it's not...
I love this girl non-stop...
with all my very soul...
all I have is 2dollars in pocket
and the clothes I stole...
just so that I can stay a bit warm...
and the days are getting cold
Me beyond 37 years old...
and getting older by the second
can you hear me reach out to you...
I'll even call your mother and father for their blessings
what will it take to get through to you...
that my heart is not lying to you...
Already living in hell, what do you want me to go back to Jail???
Trying to live clean...
So today I smoked my last smoke...
Not going back...
So if I cop a sack
I'm gonna sell it back...
Cause pennies aren't enough...
to provide for family...
Need a job that will keep my pockets & bank account from being empty
Want to invest...
flip houses...
travel abroad...
Want to live life correctly...
Travel to Lagos and Abuja
Want to learn about cultures worldwide...
Want to teach my children love, humility and pride...
Right now all I want is you...
Yet you keep placing rafters in my eyes...
I know that you are a kings crowning prize...
So I am ready to fight with you...for your heart
Meet you at your local kingdom hall
I'll sit on the left side if you sit on the right...
I want you to see all that gave me light...
I want you to see all the taught me about the dark...
I give you on a platter my heart...
yet you just step on it like it's not a thing...
Last night ate two turkey sandwiches with cheese...
I would eat anything you cook for me without complaint...
I will only cook for those I love without restraint...
and I want to cook for you...
You act like enemy...yet I know now who is my best friend...
The only one to count on till the end of time...
My holy father in heaven divine...
you and my brother tie for my second best friend...
yet you are playing the actress...academy award you should win...
Your cousin gave the secrets away...
I only want your heart, and when it's mine I'll never let us part...
See I want forever with only you...
Everyday I prove that I am true to you...
I'm not afraid to let others see tears fall down cheek
these are just pangs I've carried for years and have needed to release...
real+1+4+3= all I want to say...
In front your door I will kneel and pray for you...
Clean up your mess and try to save you too...
I believe that this life is temporary yet there is another life that be everlasting...
Because man was not created to just live and die...
If man was made in God's image then why does man die???
The disease of sin has caused this problem for us all...
Causes violence, chaos and wars...
Yet there will be a time when all that will pass...
Bible reading daily as a child I really understand...
No longer living life in the fast lane...
Just living as a man...
Starting over my life again, again, and again...
Yet don't like being all alone...without a person I can call...
and sometimes it even hurts to write...
without your face in my mind...
You are my muse, and inspiration...
The true Queen I adore...
I told you before I am not going to be a whore...
Spiritually I feel for you, need I say more???
Nahshon-Rae
 

HODEE

Alonewolf
PREMIUM MEMBER
Jul 2, 2003
5,778
824
DEEP..very DEEP.. I like many stanza's within the flow. I feel you on most of this.
She is the one if a man feel's that way.​

You are my muse, and inspiration...
The true Queen I adore...



If she is an inspiration, motivation, aspiration the drive needed in a man's life.
He should give it all he can to achieve and make her his own.

" No shame in the game or journey"
I once I saw my father cry... there is no shame in any need.

A man wants to more than just existing!

In a quest to be whole, if somebody else created the situation that keeps the quest at a distance or at bay. Speak to them ( the one standing in the way ) directly and the other will hear guaranteed what you have said and have to say.
 

Nahshon

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Sep 20, 2001
377
130
Occupation
Tech Support Specialist
Skype
Nahshon.Swanston
Thank you for your words of wisdom and praise worthy comments...peace and blessings to you BROTHER POET HODEE...and by the way though this poem is a few years old...I haven't given up on her...
 

rhymebad

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 11, 2006
2,870
235
Starting over my life again, again, and again...
Yet don't like being all alone...without a person I can call...
and sometimes it even hurts to write...
without your face in my mind...
You are my muse, and inspiration...
The true Queen I adore...
I told you before I am not going to be a whore...
Spiritually I feel for you, need I say more???


wow nice you write from the heart nice one enjoyed the read
 

Nahshon

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Sep 20, 2001
377
130
Occupation
Tech Support Specialist
Skype
Nahshon.Swanston
Rhymebad,

thank you for your kind words...I write what I feel...as I see you do too...thank you again my Poetic Brother...
 

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