Black Parenting : I don't want my kids to believe in Father Christmas

Angela22

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Feb 26, 2013
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Maybe i am being selfish, Angela. maybe the truth is too harsh for some people's children...and they've discovered that a lie is more soothing, and therefore, more educational and uplifting for their children. i shouldn't try to sway these people to my way of thinking, just because i don't get why they feel that the only way their children can be happy is through their lies. that's them. they know what's best for their children. who am i to question why they would want to do that.

on the other hand, if i choose to tell my children the truth, vice their lies, they shouldn't try to sway me to their way of thinking--you do you, and i'll do me. if their children don't have the mental makeup to hear the truth, they shouldn't be told the truth. they would know that better than i would. with that said, and to keep from breaking any of Destee's rules, i'm going to walk away.
There were truths that my parents found too difficult for me to hear as a child; they simply didn't tell me them and explained why they couldn't do so. Sometimes it was, "when you're older, you'll understand." or "It's not appropriate for you to hear now, but someday.". They didn't make up things to soothe me.

Not being able to tell the child a truth is not the same as telling them an unnecessary lie for the sake of making yourself smile on christmas day. To me, that's selfish.
 

IFE

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Jan 20, 2015
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When I left my 1st husband, I left Santa to. I didn't tell my son there was no santa, I stopped celebrating the traditional Christmas. I hated the Christmas tree so that was gone. One Christmas we got a used car that we both needed. Another Christmas he got a bedroom set. He could get toys any time.

I remarried and my new husband couldn't believe I didn't celebrate Christmas. He felt bad for my son, who was nine by then. The first Christmas he put up a real Christmas tree and bought toys. I drew the line at decorating the house. No lights. My son looked at me like the grinch who stole Christmas for 5 years.
 

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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why do you call him father christmas?

anyway, i've always found it interesting that we teach our kids to lie...then get on them for lying.

why would any MAN allow another man to take responsibility for the things he buy for his kids?

why do we encourage the celebration...and belief...in a lie?

why do we teach/encourage our kids to lie?

WHY?
Those aren't my words, I am quoting an author. In Europe, they used the name Father Christmas before Americans started with the Santa Claus name.

So, the OP is just an article I presented for discussion. I wish I could say those were my words, my life, But they aren't.

Without any thought I just fell in and did Christmas and Kwanzaa with my son and the rest of the family. I regret it though. When he was nine I told him the truth. I have never seen the look of betrayal in his eyes like that day. He said, "You mean you have been LYING to me, all this time?" And, I babbled on and on, trying to justify this huge series of lies.

Lying to him about Christmas also undermined my credibility when trying to teach him the stories from the Bible. I have a track record for making up fanciful stories. So, when I told him about the miracles etc., he would say "that's impossible... that could never happen..", with 100% confidence. I'm guessing that he has decided he isn't going to let anybody make a fool out of him ever again.
 

Liberty

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Aug 28, 2015
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That time of the year to teach children the importance of buying their happiness and living according to the traditions which have been passed down from caucasian generation to caucasian generation.

Ah, can you smell it in the air?:cold:
And, the Catch-22 is that if they are "good", they should be compensated for it. Suppose they ARE very good but you don't have access to unlimited cash. How would that make them feel?

A lot of people criticize it, but I like Kwanzaa better.
 

Liberty

Banned
MEMBER
Aug 28, 2015
6,914
1,212
why do you call him father christmas?

anyway, i've always found it interesting that we teach our kids to lie...then get on them for lying.

why would any MAN allow another man to take responsibility for the things he buy for his kids?

why do we encourage the celebration...and belief...in a lie?

why do we teach/encourage our kids to lie?

WHY?
I like what the author said. I wish I had done his way. He did the celebration, but he didn't feed in to the lies. So, the kid hears stuff on TV, from friends, etc., but he doesn't participate in the lying. And, he said if the kid ever asked him directly about anything, he would've answered truthfully.
 

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