Black Relationships : How Important is Black Love


Apr 22, 2003
Karama Heru said:
Greetings Bro. Keita:

It's very refreshing to see a brotha describe BLACK LOVE as you have. I agree that it defies description and is indeed of historical, cultural and most definitely a spiritual nature. Recently, I found my balance (we choose not to use the terms "husband" or "wife"), because it can not and DOES not adequately describe who we are and more importantly who we are to eachother.

My balance held me in his mind's eye for a number of years, which is exactly where I held him. The MOST HIGH brought us together when we were both prepared to receive one another. We are eachother's balance...two parts of one soul. We strenghthen one another mentally, spiritually and emotionally, and we can and have done that without physical contact. The physical is yet another form of communication between us.

We complete one another and walk in harmony, heaven in one hand, earth in the other. The areas in which I am deficient, he strenghtens and energizes me (as the sun energized our people), and I act as the same catalyst for him. I know who he his, and I know that he was designed just for me, and I for him. We are living and breathing proof that BLACK LOVE does indeed exist and the positive energy that is created from it, because of it, is more powerful than our wildest imagination. Our ancestors knew it, believed it, displayed it, and taught their children about it. We must do the s
Hello Karama Heru! :wave:

Welcome to Destee's!
Thank you for that beautiful description of Black Love and how it has affected your life and flourished in Balance.

*raised fist* Black Love....Black Power! It's a Beautiful Thang!

Desert Storm

Well-Known Member
Mar 31, 2001
Black love is definately healthy and it's healing.

To have someone that understands you on so many different levels is a good feeling. I haven't had that many serious relationships, so I hope for the best.

The only guy that I've really been interested in seriously was a friend from Chicago. He's a great man. When I met him I felt instant chemistry between us. However, when I met him I had just got out of an overwhelming situation/relationship and was trying to get over it. Anywayz, to make a longer story short, even though we were interested in eachother, i didn't go further than that. He moved like maybe a year or two later and he comes back to town every once in a while, he doesn't really stay in contact other than that.

#2-From what I've observed, and correct me if I'm wrong, Midwest,South,to East Coast, seems to be crackin in terms of nice black men. I don't feel the same togetherness like I did with blacks out here, like I've felt out there, being from Cali.

So anyways, let me know what y'all think about that.

Desert Storm


Dec 22, 2007
black love is important but only becomes real and possible if we love within our blackness and appreciate it as such.i think the problem arises when we westernize our loving and confine it to the acquired traditions and hence channel our spiritual connection to fit in to model society,instead of loving the way we as black people do best:naturally, wholistically, spiritually, physically,emotionally etc. it will work best if we do not try to be something that we are not or have been taught is a model of love.

much love to everybody


Well-Known Member
May 13, 2003
Bay Area, CA
Servant of the People
Its been about a couple years since this thread started...

Firstly, I do want to credit brotha Pan for once again starting a much needed thread :) kudos to you brotha :grouphug: Secondly, I am glad I logged in so that I can see I need to make that PM payment LOL But last and definitely not least...

I have been so busy lately but I wanted to pause and take a moment to speak to the wonder that is "BLAK LOVE" I think Brotha James wrapped it up in its simplest. BLAK LOVE is the foundation of our people, thus the reason why it has always been under attack. There is no disputing that it has and is the primary source of success for our blak nation.

What I find a tad disheartening is the number of sistahs/brothas so willing to give up on the prospect of "BLAK LOVE" because of burdened past experiences. I have read thread after thread after thread after thread after thread after thread after thread after thread after thread (*sigh*) speaking AGAINST "BLAK LOVE" because of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends who have broken hearts and ruined lives *sigh*....
....hearts are resilient and meant to be used and LIVES are meant to be LIVED, love & PAIN included...

I can testify to broken hearts and ruined lives, I have been hurt and hurt others in return BUT none of it should EVER and will NEVER disuade me from "BLAK LOVE"

The air around us is not always the cleanest but do we refuse to breathe?
The water around us is not always the purest but do we reject its usage? Never wash? Never drink?
The food available for purchase isnt always the most plesant so we do turn to hunger strikes? Starve ourselves??
No...we work around it and LEARN FROM IT to survive and succeed and we carry on.

We purify the water, we buy smart and cook well and we SURVIVE & SUCCEED.
IMHO There is no TRUE survival FOR OUR PEOPLE... to be found in IR. Our future relies on our MAINTAINING what has been at the root of our survival for SO MANY YEARS....BLAK LOVE.

So when hearts are broken and we are battered and bruised from brothas/sistahs who have "done us wrong" the answer is NOT becoming "SELF-DESTRUCTIVE" smh The answer is found in ourselves...
WE heal, WE learn, WE know that one, or two, or three, hell even MANY bad seeds, does not require us to burn down the forest... that WE sprouted from. That is why our ancestors are our "ROOTS" we dont forget them and we d@yum sure dont grow in a direction that destroys ourselves and EVERYTHING THEY BUILT.

*sigh* I am not innocent of being hurtful nor have I never been caused pain, and in no way am I demeaning the suffering of any other sistah/brotha caused by one of our own...

BUT...I am saying this much...IF you seek a ROOT deep HEAVEN bound kinda love... BLAK LOVE is the only thing that can provide that. There are many who will claim to provide it, many who fight to destroy it, and there are those who will demand it never existed...but I know its real and I promise you I place my LIFE on it, TRUE BLAK LOVE created us...and in the end...its truth WILL sustain us, IF we allow it.

But of course...thats one sistahs twopence lol :)
I have been through some tumultuous happenings since I last wrote this. Things that definitely could have persuaded even the most fervrent believer in BLAK LOVE otherwise. But... I believe in it more today than I did then... good things dont come easy.


Well-Known Member
Sep 4, 2008
Queens, New York
Administrative Assistant
It's hard. I say this because many black men do not want black women. I have not encountered a black man that believes, or can show through his actions, that a black woman can completely blow his mind in her true form, meaning: usually black men are attracted to women who slab on tons of makeup and process their natural texture hair to make it straight. This makes me so sad because dark skin men completely take my breath away; dark skin drives me crazy! I have yet to find a dark skin man whos eyes did not light up when they saw a hispanic, asian, or indian woman. I am not against inter-racial dating, AT ALL, I'm just saying its hard for me to find the man of my dreams who can view me the same way, and I would with out a doubt adore him... Unfortunetly this kind of man that I strongly desire seems to subconsiously hate themselves, because they do not crave, desire, love and yurn for the very women they came from. So, with that said, I will conform and assimilate! If I have to slab on tons of makeup and wear fake straight hair (beacause I will be d@*ned if I ever chemically straighten my real hair), to get me a handsome, deep dark skinned man, then by all means I will be Revlon's and Sally's Beauty Supply's BEST COSTUMER! I can not get enough of blackmen and I will do whatever it takes to fall asleep every night next to a sweet deep dark chocolatey, blackman and hopefully one day husband. Even if that means that I have to change my appearances. I love being a black woman, but I want a black man.
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