Black People : Finding Your Ties That Bind "Dedicatied to PurpleMoons"


Sep 8, 2005
(G.I.)- Better known as Gary,In.
Greetings Family...

I recently did a thread entitled "Protection VS. Revenge" and in so doing one of the posters shared a story that was really heart's part of it.

Originally Posted by PurpleMoons
This brings to mind a story my Father use to tell me. When he was a young man he shot a cop for harassing one of his Sisters. Now mind you, this all took place somewhere between the 1940s when racial injustices was openly demonstrated. He left his family and home town on the run from the law. He then enlisted in the army, compromised, he had to lie about his name and age because he wasn't old enough to enlist.

When i think about the disconnect it caused us (my siblings and i) i'm so hurt and frustrated by his actions. Yet, i'm proud of him too. Who knows for sure what would have happened to my aunt if he didn't intervene. This has cause us to never know our people on his side. And for that i often feel incomplete.

I promised her that I would start another thread about being disconnected from family. Because for last 6yrs of the first 17yrs. of my life I had a sister that I Didn't know about. The subject came up at a family dinner and my jaws just dropped. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 11yrs old. So they both started a new life. As time went by this whole thing bothered me to know I had a sister out there somewhere and I didn't know her. It begin eating at me like a sore that wouldn't heal. But what could I do at that age....nothing.

It wasn't until I 24yrs old that I decided to ask my Mom about this time I had 2 kids of my own and I wanted them to get to know their Grandfather and their Aunt. To my surprise my Mom was happy about the idea. For it seems that she had been ask to adopt the child some year earlier. I never question what had happen....but was glad she was pleased.

To make a long story short....I found them 2yrs later.... we had a big dinner and we are all one family now. And not only is she my sister but my best friend. The point I want to make's up to us, you and me to find those long lost ties. We have to do it for ourselves and our children...for those are the ties that bind and make us whole again.

Lilpea :1on1:


Apr 22, 2003
Thats Beautiful Brother Lilpea!

I have been trying to find links, off and on for some time now. I've looked in census records in LA. Thats where he was raised. I've looked in Virginia, he spent some time there too. I looked for his mother with not one positive hit of her where abouts. I'm not even sure if Nancy Elliot was her name, because this is the name he used to obtain his social security card so he could enlist in the army. Back then you didn't have to prove these things.

Well, i haven't given up yet. I'm still hopeful, but that hope is fading slowly.

Thank you for posting this wonderful story! I'm happy you were able to reconnect to your love ones.


Clyde C Coger Jr

going above and beyond
Nov 17, 2006
In the Spirit of Sankofa!

Great thread lilpea,

This allows me to elaborate a bit. My grandfather killed a white man, while working on the railroad, in Memphis during the Crump years, and had to flee to Louisiana. From there my dad was born and raised, and eventually moved to Dallas. I eventually left Dallas in search of my roots in Memphis, which was based upon the family legend of granddad, only to arrive too late, as any connection of proof had died off.

Circumstances or the change of circumstances only leads to more empty blanks in life, creating uncertainty of knowing, or wishful thinking. Ultimately, this family saying, Mr Now beats Mr Use-ta every time, took up roots with me:).


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