Black People : Do I dare tread in this direction?

Thandiwe

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 30, 2001
680
2
Minnesota
I thought you knew....

I was crazy, I'v e seen you over at EB!!!

and you're ab SOUL utely right. if we continue to blame the other, then we fail the see the wrong in ourselves. but ont the same token, we can't blame ourselves or the other in relationship, we should equally yoked....but then again, we see only th blame in ourselves and that ain't good either...
 

cocobutterskyn

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 25, 2001
4,209
196
Sixburgh, Pa.
Occupation
Spreading Joy.... need some?
There you are

I thought you ran away, oops I meant retreated.:D Yes you did play the blame game. You stated the children suffer due to women's STUPID choices/mistakes. That's blaming women for single parent households. Is it not? Correct me if I'm mistaken? Of course I know you will, as always. By the way, the conversation doesn't have to stop, because you need time away. Women can carry on a conversation without a man's help.:D Oh! and more name calling, go on the NUT? lol What's up with that? lol

Happy Monday Kem

MadLove:heart: Coco
 

cocobutterskyn

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 25, 2001
4,209
196
Sixburgh, Pa.
Occupation
Spreading Joy.... need some?
Kem

No situation, No matter what, is exactly the same. You have told me nothing I don't already know. All I'm simply trying to say on a MORAL issue/level both should accept responsibility. Lets forget all the written crap. We've been raising children and surviving relationships/marriages long before all the documentation had been written and back then our children were raised more wholesome and relationships/marriages were long lasting. If you ask me and I know you didn't.lol... It's because all our reading of what others think we should do has been part of our problem. If we would revert back to the old school in behaving like our grandparents(both) not just grandma and their parents before them. We wouldn't be dealing with this type of aftermath. Most of Our people had God in their lives and did what was right. As you stated there are differences. We have differences in raising our children and surviving our relationships/marriages, due to our history. Most of the documentation is written by social groups who can't even begin to understand us and probably never will.
Lets be real Kem, at a moral stand point. You don't feel men should offer their assistance in the developement of their child, NO MATTER what the circumstances are?

MadLove:heart: Coco
 

dnommo

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 19, 2001
2,059
15
Baltimore, Md.
Occupation
Teacher of English, Literature & Poetry
okay good afternoon to all who have ventured into this fray. I have been watching and well hoping this forum would come to a level of understanding. I must agree with Kemetsry's comments earlier although his tactic was a little harsh but his views are correct and after reading this post in it's entirety, he has been proven correct. The main point of this discussion is that men are aware of their shortcomings, as well as woman are aware of thier own, but must it become common practice for woman to constantly remind men of their mistakse and yet not take/accept responsisbility for their own?

The most painful experience for a man is when he stands up, apologizes for his actions, and the woman chooses to belittle him evan more becuase they don't think he has suffered enough. There are times when men will accept responsibility for things they have not done just to keep the peace and in the process os tore down and given advice on how to better themselves. Men are capable of achieving a lot and not all men are dogs. Put yourself in the man's shoes when he says "I'm Sorry" and the woman snaps back "You should ba aan dyou better do it right the next time." That is not true love or forgiveness and honestly if i was in a relationship like that then that is when the relationship would end.

The premise of this forum is this: before trying to remove the splinter out of a man's eye, how about removing the plank out of yours. Society has become a place of "Who's the WEakest Gender (link)" when in reality it should find a common ground in which both work upon.

I find it, in my personal life, that when i am man enough to apologize and accept the responsibility for my actions, the woman tend to remind me of that down the line and yet when they are found in the wrong, it is because of something i either said or done. My question today is this? Why does it happen like that? Now before anyone says it's just an isolated incident, i want you to know that this same discussion is going on among men all over the country. I don't have statistics like Kemet but i do have practical conversations.

Ladies, i am not here to tear you down, i am seeking revelation. This blame game/always the victim process must stop. I read your responses but i ask you this. In your mindset, you have apologized and stood up for your actions, but can that same perception be valid in the eyes of the one whom was on the receiveing end to the wrongdoing? We have to see it from their eyes first and then move on from there.
 

dnommo

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Mar 19, 2001
2,059
15
Baltimore, Md.
Occupation
Teacher of English, Literature & Poetry
coco

Men should be equally responsible for raising the child but that means more than just monetary funding. I feel that it is unfair for men to continually financially support a child and yet they cannot see the child for the mother doesn't WANT the man in the child's life. My question is this? If the woman doesn't want the man to ahve anything to do with the child, then why take him for child support? I'm not talking about all scenarios of this, just this particular area. This is unfair and makes the process an opening for the child to feel depraved and the father to alienate his child. This, is the mother's decision and the man must suffer. It also gives a bad impression of the mother and her intentions.

Once again i say that the responsibility should fall on both parties as well as time spent with the child...
 

cocobutterskyn

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 25, 2001
4,209
196
Sixburgh, Pa.
Occupation
Spreading Joy.... need some?
Dnommo

As always I welcome your comments. I agree with your financial view, I've believe money is valuable in the raising of children, but time, quality time spent is also just has valuable. A father/parent could send massive amounts of money, however I feel its the emotional and physical contact that the children need most. I would also like to add that, I personally applaud a man who can admit to his shortcomings. I know it's difficult for anyone to do so and even more difficult for men. I feel (some)men base most situations as an attack on his manhood, which he holds so dear. It's not always the case. Wrong is wrong, right is right. It's all about doing whats morally correct, be it man or woman. By the way, I totally agree with the splinter and plank remark. I smiled while reading it. We as being human do it often with many situations. Thanks.

MadLove:heart: Coco
 

cocobutterskyn

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 25, 2001
4,209
196
Sixburgh, Pa.
Occupation
Spreading Joy.... need some?
Kem, Kem ,Kem

Just when I think we've reached common ground you go and flip- flop on me. I agree to agree with half of what you've stated. We as a people need to take back the moral high ground, not only women. Well, Kem I truly must say it's been an interesting discussion. I enjoyed tossing opinions around with you. Thanks
Also thanks to, Thandi,Nexis and Dnommo, It's been a pleasure.

MadLove:heart: Coco
 

cocobutterskyn

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 25, 2001
4,209
196
Sixburgh, Pa.
Occupation
Spreading Joy.... need some?
Ok Kem

I agree 2+2=4:D
I accept my 50%:D
I agree men are not responsible:D
I agree women make bad choices:D
Now am I a good lil girl?:D

MadLove:heart: Coco
 

Consciousness Raising Online!

Allow the N Word - yes or no?

  • yes

    Votes: 2 14.3%
  • no

    Votes: 6 42.9%
  • not sure

    Votes: 6 42.9%

Latest profile posts

Feeling good today fam...just been reading a couple of books. I think Dennis Kimbro's "Daily Motivations for African American Success" is one of the best motivational books on the market. This book has motivation for each day of the year on each page and all of these relate to your own Blackness. No matter what you're experiencing there's something in that book you could draw from. ✊
Life is a poem, love is the pen.
Charles Thompson wrote on Enki's profile.
Good evening
Destee wrote on Angela22's profile.
Hi Sweetie Pie Honey Bunch!!!! ... :dance4: ... Welcome Home! So good to have your sweet Spirit in the house! ... YAAAAAAY USSSSS! ... :yaay: :yaay: :swings: ... :heart:
Angela22 wrote on Enki's profile.
I hope all is well with you. Much love.:love:
Top