Children who steal?

Destee

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Jan 22, 2001
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Sister PurpleMoons ... when i first read this, i didn't know what advice i could possibly give. Bless your sweet heart. It's a blessing that this Sister / Mother has you as a friend. With her working 2 jobs, man, she should recognize the blessing you are to her, and help you raise her child ... as properly as yall can. This story has so many more important issues in it, than if the baby is stealing or not. She's 10 years old and can't be held totally responsible for what she is doing. Her Mother is required to work 2 jobs in order that they survive, which keeps her away from the babies. She has a man (living with them?) that is questionable. Is she leaving the children with him, then they come down to your house? Obviously he's not available or willing to help take care of the babies, which might not be a bad thing since you mentioned some incident with other children ... and my mind is thinking the worst. Protecting our babies from being violated by adults is a much greater concern than protecting them from stealing. I aint no psychologist or nuth'n ... but what if something already happened, and this is the reason for her "acting out." I don't know Sister, i'm just sharing what my mind is thinking. I don't mean to make the burden on you any heavier. You are not her Mother, and you really can't be ... you can be the support system that you have been, for as long as you can. Only you can determine how far you can go.

As far as the baby goes, i'd talk to her. Just me and her. I'd let her know how much i love her, and how much i love having her visit with me. Let her know that she can talk to me if she wants to, about anything. That i'd do anything for her that i could. I would let her know that i am more than willing to be here for her ... but i must be able to trust her ... in oder to do these things. I would then talk about how important trust is, and if you can't trust a person, you don't even want to be around that person. How a person you can't trust, will lie, steal, cheat ... do anything ... and this is not a good person. I would tell her that i believe she took my stuff and i cannot live in my own house and have to watch my stuff ... because that would mean i live with people that i can't trust ... and that's a terrible way to live.

Sister Purple ... if it were me, i think i'd continue to embrace the child. Her Mother's not there, her Mother's boyfriend is only bringing more issues to the table it seems ... gosh ... does he work ... why does she have to work 2 jobs and she has a man living with her ... :court: ... okay okay okay ... calm down Destee ... but gosh ... what do we expect from our children when we choose the ugliest of situations for our own lives, as examples for the babies to follow!

Sister Purple ... you're so sweet, and i can feel the Spirit in you, that makes you want to be the one to reach out and help ... but it can be a blessing and a curse ... because even after feeling the joy of doing all you could, you feel the pain of your heart yearning to do more.

God Bless You and All Yo' Chiren! :love:

:heart:

Destee
 

PurpleMoons

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Apr 22, 2003
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I hear you Sister Destee. Yes, the man lives with her and helps out with the bills. He has'nt been there that long, Maybe about four months the most. This sister has always been a hard worker, even before he came along. I worry about children being violated by adults as well. I have experienced such violations. Thats why it's hard for me to close the doors on any child. I had no one I felt that I could tell without being looked upon awkwardly. Surely I could have told my mother, I was more afraid of the reaction that it might have caused her, and my father was a much respected man because of the way he handled certain situation. I could'nt tell him, I would have lost him to prison or worst. These things darken my mind as well. Most of the children do confide in me and talk to me about things that trouble them.

A wonderful thing happened this morning after my last post. My neighbor(her mother) came up to disscuss a little further the actions of her daughter. She felt embrassed and was very apologetic. She said her daughter cofessed to her that she took the coins, Which I thought was a good start for her baby to begin to understand how important it is why she most not steal. she wanted to ban her from my house as well and I told her why I felt we should'nt do this. We both agreed to allow her to continue to visit and came up with a means of discipline for her actions. After she does her chores she is to face me. Her allowance is handed to me and I will give her some chores as well to do for the disappointment that too has afflicted us both. When she came up to give me her little monies, Lookig so innocent and watery eyed, She apologized and I gave her a big hug. I told her that I was'nt mad at her but very dissappointed and that she has to understand why it is very important why she must not do this. She held her little beautiful head down and I told her I'll see her later.

Sometimes It takes a village to raise a child. I did'nt have that opportunity with my children because time has changed alot of people views. Hopefully our comming together will help build this method by example. Just maybe, when our children have children of their own, they to will have the support of their community.

Yes it is a blessing and a curse Sister. But I rather be cursed trying to help our future thrive.
 

MrBlak

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 18, 2004
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:toast: Glad to hear it worked out in the end.....you are doing a great service to your community and are the kind of neighbour I want once I start a family and settle down.
 

PurpleMoons

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Apr 22, 2003
9,156
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You never know what can happen Mr.Blak. If we begin to pay all the good things that people have done for us forward, By the time you are ready to start your family, your neighborhood just might be a village of support. :love:
 

vj57

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Dec 25, 2003
131
6
Thievery is a major turn off for me. I have a nephew who needs deliverance from this problem and hope it's not too late.

He's not allowed in my home. He's also very destructive when he visits people's home. I have zero tolerance for stealing, but if the child is very young, they need a talking to. This nephew is 16 and has been in detention homes, but not cured of his problem.

I told him that he was not allowed in my home and he was very angry about it. I told him to DEAL WITH IT because I would BEAT him if he took something from me and I had 100% proof that he did it.

Might sound cruel here, but I don't tolerate stealing. My daughter had that problem and when I called the police on her, it scared her STRAIGHT. Those officers shooked her up so badly that you can leave a $100 bill on your dresser and she wouldn't breathe near it.

If the problem is not nipped in the bud, it will get to the point that they will go in stores and steal.

My son is a security guard and thievery is a daily occurrence at the department store he works at. (He shared with me that the majority of the thieves are employees and the customers are mainly white. Hmmmmm.)
 

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