Black Parenting : Black males, be men and be fathers to your children!

panafrica

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Aug 24, 2002
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The Diaspora
Sister True ... i don't know what patriarchy means (fully) ... but i don't believe for one minute that Brothers want our children, families, and communities to suffer because they lack the courage to face their own individual and collective shortcomings in a focused manner. It's probably hard on them to stick their heads in the sand.

I don't believe they want to hurt us more. I believe they love us, but something has happened, put a great amount of fear in them, keeping them from doing this.

It's as though, if they admit any shortcomings, individually or collectively, it somehow says they are less than men ... so they fight it at every turn.

It takes a much stronger person to admit their fault and wrongdoing, but Brothers aint buying that ... :lol: ... deny blame deny seems to be their mantra.

We need them to be able to do this. If the leader of the Family, the strongest one, can't do it, how long will the weaker ones (women and children) be able to?

It's only a matter of time, before we will all be pointing fingers at someone else, whenever our critique moment comes up ... it's an easy out.

I don't know Sister ... i was actually thinking, i wonder what Dr. Welsing would say regarding the psychology of this.

I'm glad it's not all of our Brothers, for some are courageous enough to do it, and maybe they can lead the way.

I don't know ... i do know though ... that Sisters can't fix this one.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62158
 

Destee

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Sister True ... i think Brothers are carrying a lot of pain and hurt, without knowing how to manage it properly. Being mistreated on so many levels, not able to participate fully in the world at the levels they see others participating at. To even express that fully, may make them appear weak, so they can speak on none of it. They gotta hold it all in, but unfortunately, it oozes out toward the ones they love the most. It was mentioned previously, that they are often highlighted for all the wrong things, newscasts, etc., and they simply can't bring themselves to add to that negative image ... even if it yields positive results ... it's just too painful for them.

Even if it lets the women and children know, everything is not their fault. It's not their fault Daddy chose not to stay with them.

They just can't do it.

I guess i can understand a little bit of it, but our children, families, and communities are paying such a high price ... it's time for it to stop.

It's a beautiful thing to be able to say i did something wrong, i wanna make up for it, do better.

There is much integrity in that ... but this world has made our Brothers feel ... there is no integrity in that.

Perpetuating the viscious cycle we see played out every day.

Few Brothers speaking on the collective shortcomings.

Maybe one day.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 

Destee

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Sister True ... i think Brothers are carrying a lot of pain and hurt, without knowing how to manage it properly. Being mistreated on so many levels, not able to participate fully in the world at the levels they see others participating at. To even express that fully, may make them appear weak, so they can speak on none of it. They gotta hold it all in, but unfortunately, it oozes out toward the ones they love the most. It was mentioned previously, that they are often highlighted for all the wrong things, newscasts, etc., and they simply can't bring themselves to add to that negative image ... even if it yields positive results ... it's just too painful for them.

Even if it lets the women and children know, everything is not their fault. It's not their fault Daddy chose not to stay with them.

They just can't do it.

I guess i can understand a little bit of it, but our children, families, and communities are paying such a high price ... it's time for it to stop.

It's a beautiful thing to be able to say i did something wrong, i wanna make up for it, do better.

There is much integrity in that ... but this world has made our Brothers feel ... there is no integrity in that.

Perpetuating the viscious cycle we see played out every day.

Few Brothers speaking solely on their collective shortcomings.

Maybe one day.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 

panafrica

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 24, 2002
10,227
192
The Diaspora
Sister True ... i think Brothers are carrying a lot of pain and hurt, without knowing how to manage it properly. Being mistreated on so many levels, not able to participate fully in the world at the levels they see others participating at. To even express that fully, may make them appear weak, so they can speak on none of it. They gotta hold it all in, but unfortunately, it oozes out toward the ones they love the most. It was mentioned previously, that they are often highlighted for all the wrong things, newscasts, etc., and they simply can't bring themselves to add to that negative image ... even if it yields positive results ... it's just too painful for them.

Even if it lets the women and children know, everything is not their fault. It's not their fault Daddy chose not to stay with them.

They just can't do it.

I guess i can understand a little bit of it, but our children, families, and communities are paying such a high price ... it's time for it to stop.

It's a beautiful thing to be able to say i did something wrong, i wanna make up for it, do better.

There is much integrity in that ... but this world has made our Brothers feel ... there is no integrity in that.

Perpetuating the viscious cycle we see played out every day.

Few Brothers speaking solely on their collective shortcomings.

Maybe one day.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62158
 

Destee

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Jan 22, 2001
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Brother Pan ... why post the same thing to my responses to Sister True, when you couldn't directly address my response to you?

You have yet to explain the contradiction of your own words, with your own actions, within this thread (and/or its Sister thread).

I'm all for us looking at the whole thing, the big picture, but eventually we'll have to drill down to the very specifics in order to solve the problem.

That's the part you all have trouble with. As long as you can group it with women and children, you're good, as it provides some deflection.

But address your collective issues on their own, without the protection of someone else's failure, you immediately get defensive and/or shut down.

It's a pattern now, that anyone can see ... well, except yall.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 
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