Black Parenting : Black males, be men and be fathers to your children!

Destee

destee.com
STAFF
Jan 22, 2001
35,817
9,798
betwixt and between
destee.com
Occupation
Website Consultant
:10500:

And you neglected to mention how sisters have formed a cult following to attack all men because they cant seem to resist Mookie. You neglect to mention pregnancy pacts.

Again, your statements are unproven myths. Two studies have shown that bm dont abandon their children. I submit therefore, it is the other way around. Many females may just qualify as unfit mothers. They have both custody and control. Furthermore, the law often prevents fathers from being anything more than uncle daddy. Perhaps it is the issters that need to check their own!

B]:em0200:[/B]
This is a perfect example of what i'm saying ... dare broach the topic of Black Men's failures ... and immediately Sisters must be discussed.

Never getting to look precisely at issues and behaviors Brothers bring to the table ... for it's quickly muddied up with what Sisters did / do.

It's sad ... for how can anyone improve, progress, etc., if they are not willing to look at self.

Real sad.

:heart:

Destee
 

Destee

destee.com
STAFF
Jan 22, 2001
35,817
9,798
betwixt and between
destee.com
Occupation
Website Consultant
I dove rather deeply in how to restore the traditional african family dealing with both men and women simultaneously. I even shared my thoughts and theories with the Destee family here:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62158

The thread got 330 views and only 1 response. I'm not interested in a battle of the sexes, because the battle of the sexes has contributed to this situation. My question is to point out that it is a contradiction to call on all men to take care out their children....NO EXCUSES, while simultaneously pointing out that there are women who choose to have children without regard to the father.
Brother Pan ... that's all fine and good ... but it doesn't speak to what i was saying to you.

You came into this thread talking about folk trying to shame Black Men into something, i replied in full, and you have nothing to say about that.

I mentioned the fact that you came into this thread, where Brothers were being critiqued, with that shame claim ... but you are in the Sister's thread without any possible shame to them being a concern.

Now, when Brothers poor behavior is being discussed, there is this call for SIMULTANEOUS dealing with issues. We're back again to the same place, if we want to talk about Brothers failures, we must SIMULTANEOUSLY put Sisters failures on the table too. That's krazee and illogical.

Sisters and Brothers are different, and do different things, that have different impacts on the collective.

It's ridiculous to think for one minute, that one problem can't be addressed without simultaneously addressing another.

No where else is such required, except when discussing Brother's failures.

Even as children, the Sister didn't get a spanking, just because the Brother did, and vice-versa, but instead both got what was coming to them, when they demonstrated the need for it to be done.

But now ... as grown men ... yall don't want to be critiqued unless a Sister is also being critiqued.

Such a deep and pervasive defense mechanism you all have built into your reasoning, a direct contradiction to the strength you all (should) possess.

It's unfortunate, because it keeps us from addressing each and every issue in a focused manner, without regard to others.

Okay ... you obviously don't wanna discuss any of the obvious fears Brothers demonstrate, when critiquing themselves is required ... but it's okay.

I understand.

Oh ... and in the Sister's thread you said this ...

Constant focus on irresponsible men who abandon their children does nothing to change this reality.
yet you say this too, in the same post :

The woman's role in the number of single parent households in our community is often overlooked and it shouldn't be.
Another vote for never focusing on the irresponsible men, for you've determined it will change nothing, but the woman's role should not be overlooked.

Hmmmm ... what happened to the flawed simultaneous position you took earlier, for you did not apply it when you began critiquing Sisters ... i guess that's used only when Men are being critiqued ... not Sisters ... ahhh ... okay ... it doesn't apply to that thread, only this one ... my bad.

Okay ... so we're back to square one ... let's talk about the Sisters and their poor behavior.

Yall got this thing down pat ... and it's really very unfortunate ... showing a lack of maturity, in my opinion.

Like the child that gets caught with his hand deep in the cookie jar, doing wrong, and immediately says, but what about Sheila, she did it too, yesterday!

I guess that works in your house, but it never would work in mine.

I would not chastise my Daughter for her bad behavior, simply because my Son needed chastising.

Each would be handled independent of the other, for they are individuals, and deserving of focused and personalized attention.

But i'm out ... i quit ... for now ... :wink:

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 

panafrica

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Aug 24, 2002
10,227
192
The Diaspora
Brother Pan ... that's all fine and good ... but it doesn't speak to what i was saying to you.

You came into this thread talking about folk trying to shame Black Men into something, i replied in full, and you have nothing to say about that.

I mentioned the fact that you came into this thread, where Brothers were being critiqued, with that shame claim ... but you are in the Sister's thread without any possible shame to them being a concern.

Now, when Brothers poor behavior is being discussed, there is this call for SIMULTANEOUS dealing with issues. We're back again to the same place, if we want to talk about Brothers failures, we must SIMULTANEOUSLY put Sisters failures on the table too. That's krazee and illogical.

Sisters and Brothers are different, and do different things, that have different impacts on the collective.

It's ridiculous to think for one minute, that one problem can't be addressed without simultaneously addressing another.

No where else is such required, except when discussing Brother's failures.

Even as children, the Sister didn't get a spanking, just because the Brother did, and vice-versa, but instead both got what was coming to them, when they demonstrated the need for it to be done.

But now ... as grown men ... yall don't want to be critiqued unless a Sister is also being critiqued.

Such a deep and pervasive defense mechanism you all have built into your reasoning, a direct contradiction to the strength you all (should) possess.

It's unfortunate, because it keeps us from addressing each and every issue in a focused manner, without regard to others.

Okay ... you obviously don't wanna discuss any of the obvious fears Brothers demonstrate, when critiquing themselves is required ... but it's okay.

I understand.

Oh ... and in the Sister's thread you said this ...



yet you say this too, in the same post :



Another vote for never focusing on the irresponsible men, for you've determined it will change nothing, but the woman's role should not be overlooked.

Hmmmm ... what happened to the flawed simultaneous position you took earlier, for you did not apply it when you began critiquing Sisters ... i guess that's used only when Men are being critiqued ... not Sisters ... ahhh ... okay ... it doesn't apply to that thread, only this one ... my bad.

Okay ... so we're back to square one ... let's talk about the Sisters and their poor behavior.

Yall got this thing down pat ... and it's really very unfortunate ... showing a lack of maturity, in my opinion.

Like the child that gets caught with his hand deep in the cookie jar, doing wrong, and immediately says, but what about Sheila, she did it too, yesterday!

I guess that works in your house, but it never would work in mine.

I would not chastise my Daughter for her bad behavior, simply because my Son needed chastising.

Each would be handled independent of the other, for they are individuals, and deserving of focused and personalized attention.

But i'm out ... i quit ... for now ... :wink:

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
Destee if you want to shame black men into taking care of their children....feel free. Shame to your hearts content, and know that you are in good company. There are no shortage of magazine articles, TV specials, radio shows, and internet forums devoted to shaming black men for not taking care of their children. President Obama dedicated his father's day speech during his campaign to shame black men into taking care of their kids....Black men are no good....Black Men, stop acting like BOYS and be MEN....black men this and black men that....Now let me ask you. How has that been working out?

Shame is an ineffective tactic to get black men who aren't taking care of their kids to do so, because those who aren't taking care of their kids often can care less. Now if you are talking about the other end of the coin. Black men who are taking care of their children...better yet those who take care of the children and their mothers (black men like myself). It is not shame which caused us to do so either, rather a sense of responsibility which was instilled in us when we ourselves were children. This responsibility is something our "deadbeat counterparts" lack, and in the majority of cases they lacked it before they got their baby mommas pregnant to begin with.

Addressing men and women together is not a way to let one gender off the hook at the expense of there other. Quite the contrary, the only way to correct what is undeniably damaged within the majority of families in our communities is to address both men and women simultaneously. I'll say it once again. I've addressed both men and women's roles in the breakdown of the traditional family quite extensively in the link I provided. I provided not only analysis but also solutions. Very few folk have anything to say about it, yourself included. You are welcome to take a look at that one. If after that you still feel the need to critique....feel free.
 

Destee

destee.com
STAFF
Jan 22, 2001
35,817
9,798
betwixt and between
destee.com
Occupation
Website Consultant
I'll say it once again. I've addressed both men and women's roles in the breakdown of the traditional family quite extensively in the link I provided. I provided not only analysis but also solutions. Very few folk have anything to say about it, yourself included. You are welcome to take a look at that one. If after that you still feel the need to critique....feel free.
Brother Pan ... this is a separate discussion, that you've made specific comments within, that i'm addressing and you're avoiding.

Okay ... you can avoid my probing commentary regarding the positions you've demonstrated in this thread (and its Sister thread), by sending me to another thread.

Another vote i suppose for simultaneous stuff ... threads this time though ... okay.

You win ... you've wore me out! :)

Love You!

:heart:

Destee
 

Workinprocess

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Feb 14, 2010
516
221
Whoodie-Hoo!

You wuz on FIYA with this one, Sister! :toast:

Yes, she was on fiya considering the fact that the she seems to blame both genders when the brotha is being put on the spot, however, when it comes to the sistas being put on the spot, she blames the sista, and the sista only...smh





W.I.P
:whip:
 

Consciousness Raising Online!

Latest profile posts

Nahshon wrote on Gracious's profile.
Gracious Queen I hope you do come back to destee...I see last time you were online here was 6 years ago on my birthday...I was probably probably taking a puff on that good 'ol stuff at the time...maybe sitting back sipping Coffee, Tea, or Wine...I just had to go back and read your previous posts.
Moved back to the Borough of my birth...Queens New York...Originally from SouthSide but now I live in Far Rockaway.
Clarity to pursue my mission in 2020
Destee wrote on Omowale Jabali's profile.
Hi Brother O! YAAAAAY! Good to see you! Hoping all is well with you and yours! Happy New Year! :heart:
Destee wrote on King Tubbs's profile.
Hi Brother - so good to see you in the house again! Hoping all is well with you and yours! Happy New Year Beloved! :heart:
Top