Chevron Dove : BEING BLACK or BROWN’ Is it Self Hatred or SELF-ish Preservation?

Chevron Dove

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May 7, 2009
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BEING BLACK or BROWN’ Is it Self Hatred or SELF-ish Preservation?

African Americans range from being very dark skinned to very light skinned and, we expressed traits that show that we are all intermixed to varying degrees. Historically, some of the commonly known non-African traits we possess have been the basis for many conflicts within our culture in regards to Colorism and it has been a damaging effect on our self-image as a whole and from a cultural sense. How much of these issues stem from outside negative influence and how much stems from within our communities? Based upon our American experience, as a whole, it would be fair to say that if we deny being affected by issues of Colorism, then we would be living a false life. We have all been affected by Colorism to some degree enough so that we have been hurt and persecuted and, we have hurt and persecuted other Black African Americans, whether directly or indirectly. It has been my personal observation and thoughts on the matter, that some Black Americans have been so persecuted to such a terrible degree that they need therapy. I think that we all need some kind of catharsis in regards to being persecuted on the basis of Colorism. I also think that many of us live in some degree of denial in regards to the full negative impact of having to exist in a world that still today, has made aggressive attempts to deny the truth in regards to this issue on a government level. When the government plays a part in dismissing this kind of truth about Colorism, then the outcome be will, in my opinion, that we will become attacked even more so, and made to be guilty for believing in the truth. When the government plays a part in not addressing the truth from a legal standpoint then, we will continue to have significant problems with regards to human rights. And, when the government plays a part in not addressing the truth in how negative impact that laws passed against us has harmed us, then we will continue to have problems living a healthy quality of life. If we as Americans don’t address this issue of the denial of this very government that has persecuted us due to being Black Americans, then things will not get better, but worse. We will always conflict with this system and with each other. This too, in my opinion, would be one of the problems in why African Americans have relationship problems amongst ourselves in every facet.

We as African American Descendants of Slaves [i.e. AADS] have family relationship conflicts that stem from Colorism, we have gender relationship conflicts within and without the family structure, we have major self-identity issues because of the broad definition of African American, today that was not so in the past generations, we are attacked for issues of self-hatred based upon who we choose to become intimate with in a relationship no matter if we are outward in our choice to date within the race or lighter skinned or dark skinned African Americans, and etc. African American women have been known to speak against African American men for issues of Colorism and for dating outside of the race and vice versa. African American men have been known to claim that Black women don’t respect them and vice versa. But again, in my opinion, gender-vs-gender conflict to some degree has been instigated from an outside source at some point in the distant past, but our relationships can improve. I think that we have been somewhat conditioned to believe that Black-vs-Black conflicts and gender conflicts will be inevitable and this causes these issues to continue and actually it seems like to me, things are getting worse. But that doesn’t mean it will always be disrespect amongst AADS. I think that we need to have some kind of accountability and also, someone needs to start with self, in that maybe a certain measure of self-sacrifice wouldn’t be a bad thing. That is my belief; self-sacrifice. For me personally, I have a lot of appreciation for men of all races; men. And then, I do have a certain level of appreciation for Black African American men, because I feel a sense of awareness in that they are my likeness phenotypically. But to take it to another level though, I have an appreciation for very dark skinned men who are conscious about their presence because I believe they are the original and that must be the standard. However, I also believe in the common feelings in that dark skinned men as a whole do not respect dark skinned women, and therefore, after much searching for answers about this issue, I have come to a conclusion on how to move forward on a personal level.

I believe, once again, that some of this circumstance of gender conflicts stems from an outside force to ‘divide-and-conquer’ the Black African American man and woman no matter what shade of color we express. However, no matter what, when a Black AADS mates, the woman’s son will always be Black African American to some degree because of her own DNA, so why not start with self. If we don’t like to be disrespected by AADS then, why not raise your own sons up to respect their own species? It has been my experience of the X-generation that most of the African American men that disrespected me came from Black women like me! Why can’t we set the standard? I don’t believe in dominating my sons; making men effeminate, by speaking against Black men all of the time. But I definitely share with them how it feels to be disrespected by darker skinned African American men as they are themselves. When the young girls come to me in regards to my sons, I don’t care if they are African American or other, I treat them all like sweethearts, but I tell my sons, don’t disrespect your species. Once, I went to a college gathering of engineering students and this young White girl was ‘beaming me’ and her parents too! —I knew what was coming because it was the norm for me! When my son left to drive a friend back to campus, the young girl approached me and told me that she started a game and she playfully tagged my son, and they whole group did it. Then she said that my son playfully came up behind her and did the same, but I could tell that she was not happy. So a few days later, I called my son and told him and he said he didn’t even remember! Eventually, he said, he recalled it but, I read the situation wrong. I said, “No I didn’t.” Girls are like that. She has a crush on you. He said no way. I begged him to call her and he did. It was a year later, that one day, he recalled the incident, and he said, “Oh Mom, you were right.” Then he laughed. My son was the top athlete in high school and so, it was common for me to have young girls follow me around at games. I believe that even if black women don’t have offspring, their lives can and do make a major impact on youth. I tell my sons, I hope I set an example for you to be a positive person in this world but if I have failed with you, I am going to be like Job and Noah, and Daniel. I hope that I can help the next generation of people, not only black, but whomever chooses to be a positive force. At any rate, I thought that this episode of Girlfriends, produced by Mary Brock Akil, Kelsey Grammar and Regina Y. Hicks (Executive Producers) titled, Hipocracy, was both hilarious and on point. This episode would be on a light note but for a much deeper and darker reality in which I hope to write about more and go into more hard-to-talk-about issues when it comes to Colorism.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlfriends_(U.S._TV_series)
 

Chevron Dove

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May 7, 2009
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Once again Chevron Dove you've outdone yourself. This is one our races hide our collective heads in the sands of shame issues. As for the title it's unfortunately a little of both. The esteem destroying color scale issue will never go away, same with the hair, lip, nose and eye color issue, other things too. The coal burner, mudshark, fat White girl worshipper notwithstanding this new Biracial, swirl, IR BM/WW, BW/WM storm is off the proverbial chain. Love and affection should be based on the love of the person, not their race or exotic (To you) features but that is part of our frailties of our nature as humans. So who's looking forward to the day we are all tan? Don't hold your breath because a great great great many of us Blacks are quite comfortable with the melanin coursing through our veins. Also if that abomination ever comes to pass, nobody alive today will bear witness to it.

LOL! This was too funny. Well said!

I've never heard of 'swirl', I will be looking that term up on the internet.

Yes, unfortunately I don't think it will ever go away, in a sense, but I believe that it will be put down, completely for those of us who choose to stay the course.
 

Chevron Dove

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 7, 2009
6,245
2,913

Thank you.
But the internet says that 'swirl' means Black Men with White woman too. Is that true?

I have not had a chance to look at video yet. But I suspect it is about Black man bashing. I hope that when we must deal with this unavoidable issue, we should also balance it. Even though many of these kind of women may be to upset to realize that this is a perpetual issue to Divide-to-Conquer. Unfortunately, I think many Black women today don't realize how history has hidden some bad times for us, and history will repeat. We are given the 'go ahead' to bash Black men who are negative, but we are not allowed to go into the horrors of what happened to us during slavery times. And, I think Lupita Nyong o is very brave!!! She joined the many women that came out against Winstein, but I think she is the only chocolate one. Of course, he denied it!

Lupita Nyong'o shares Weinstein story, hopes to end 'conspiracy of silence'
By Sandra Gonzalez, CNN

Updated 2:07 AM ET, Sat October 21, 2017

(CNN)Oscar-winning actress Lupita Nyong'o has a Harvey Weinstein story,
too. And she's sharing it in hopes of doing her part to end what she calls
in a New York Times op-ed a conspiracy of silence." ...

...Through a spokeswoman, Weinstein has "unequivocally denied" all allegations of non-consensual sex.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/19/entertainment/lupita-nyongo-harvey-weinstein/index.html

 

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