Black Relationships : Am I fighting a losing battle?

Boss_Lady

Member
MEMBER
Jul 30, 2016
12
1
I have been with my fiance for almost 4 years and together we have 4 kids together. We have been living together for over 2 years. So let me just get to the point....We have been engaged for almost 8 months and I am not a materialistic person. I don't want to waste money on a big ceremony when we can go to the courthouse to get married. We have a mortgage, 2 cars and a family to take care of. In the past 2 months, we were suppose to have gone to the courthouse 3 times, one of those times being on our anniversary, which he has already started to forget! And the 4th time was yesterday. He woke up so happy saying today was the day, today was the day, we were going to do it. He had to go to work but he would come back home so we could go. I missed a call from him 2 mins before 2 asking me to call him and he wanted me to meet him at the studio. And since I haven't mentioned this before, the studio is one of his lovers! He puts the studio over a lot when it comes to me and the kids. It takes a while to get yourself and 3 kids ready to leave the house, so when I finally left it was 3pm, the courthouse closes at 4pm. It takes a bout 15 mins to get to the studio depending on the traffic which there was a lot of. So after finishing up there and he walked us back to the car, I fussed him out. I have had enough with his lack of respect for me. I told him that I didn't want to get married to him anymore because he seems to make excuses why he can't when I plan it but i'm suppose to drop what i'm doing for what he wants me to do. He had the nerve to say well why didn't I say that over the phone. He planned it! The studio was not on the original memo. Why should I have had to mention anything to him if he really wanted to go ahead with it. That further let me know that he won't change and that even if we were to get married, everything else will be more important than what's important to me. I have dealt with so much in our relationship and I feel like enough is enough. How much more do I allow him to do to me and how much more do I allow my kids to see before it's time to pack up and leave?! Am I overreacting? Any males can give any advice on what's really going on? P.S. He's the only child, only child complex and is also a con person. Smh Thanks in advance.
 

IFE

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jan 20, 2015
3,041
500
Since you asked for male advice, I won't offer any.
Not to be unkind but your guys treatment is almost laughable. Not funny.
Did you say he is a con person? Girl, please.
If I was your mother I'd ask is his name on your Deed. You did mention mortgage.
I hope your name is on the Deed!

I'm mother to an only child who is now a married man. SMH i don't know how his wife puts up with his selfish ways. He was taught by his Dad things men do. Paying bills, buying and furnishing a home, family first, etc.
But, there are things you cant teach.
 

Destee

destee.com
STAFF
Jan 22, 2001
36,066
9,936
betwixt and between
destee.com
Occupation
Website Consultant
I have been with my fiance for almost 4 years and together we have 4 kids together. We have been living together for over 2 years. So let me just get to the point....We have been engaged for almost 8 months and I am not a materialistic person. I don't want to waste money on a big ceremony when we can go to the courthouse to get married. We have a mortgage, 2 cars and a family to take care of. In the past 2 months, we were suppose to have gone to the courthouse 3 times, one of those times being on our anniversary, which he has already started to forget! And the 4th time was yesterday. He woke up so happy saying today was the day, today was the day, we were going to do it. He had to go to work but he would come back home so we could go. I missed a call from him 2 mins before 2 asking me to call him and he wanted me to meet him at the studio. And since I haven't mentioned this before, the studio is one of his lovers! He puts the studio over a lot when it comes to me and the kids. It takes a while to get yourself and 3 kids ready to leave the house, so when I finally left it was 3pm, the courthouse closes at 4pm. It takes a bout 15 mins to get to the studio depending on the traffic which there was a lot of. So after finishing up there and he walked us back to the car, I fussed him out. I have had enough with his lack of respect for me. I told him that I didn't want to get married to him anymore because he seems to make excuses why he can't when I plan it but i'm suppose to drop what i'm doing for what he wants me to do. He had the nerve to say well why didn't I say that over the phone. He planned it! The studio was not on the original memo. Why should I have had to mention anything to him if he really wanted to go ahead with it. That further let me know that he won't change and that even if we were to get married, everything else will be more important than what's important to me. I have dealt with so much in our relationship and I feel like enough is enough. How much more do I allow him to do to me and how much more do I allow my kids to see before it's time to pack up and leave?! Am I overreacting? Any males can give any advice on what's really going on? P.S. He's the only child, only child complex and is also a con person. Smh Thanks in advance.



:hello: Boss_Lady ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

Thanks for joining us and sharing!

I'm glad IFE brought the thread back up!

I enjoyed reading your story! I smiled throughout the whole thing! It's been a few days since you posted and i hope you did not leave yo' baby daddy ... :lol: ... yall dun made all them chiren together, now you wanna find stuff you don't like about him?! ... Gurl ... let it go ... it was a cute story, had us right there with you ... i felt your pain, obviously wanting more from him ... and maybe there is a way to get that ... iono ... word is ... there's more than one way to skin a cat ... but anywho ... i hope yall get married, get all you want, keep your family together, and keep building great memories with the man you love ... just like the one you shared with us!

You aint said nuth'n really bad 'bout the Brother at all ... :lol:

I bet yall dun made another baby by now ... :baby:

Too precious. Thanks again for sharing.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee
 

Boss_Lady

Member
MEMBER
Jul 30, 2016
12
1
:hello: Boss_Lady ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

Thanks for joining us and sharing!

I'm glad IFE brought the thread back up!

I enjoyed reading your story! I smiled throughout the whole thing! It's been a few days since you posted and i hope you did not leave yo' baby daddy ... :lol: ... yall dun made all them chiren together, now you wanna find stuff you don't like about him?! ... Gurl ... let it go ... it was a cute story, had us right there with you ... i felt your pain, obviously wanting more from him ... and maybe there is a way to get that ... iono ... word is ... there's more than one way to skin a cat ... but anywho ... i hope yall get married, get all you want, keep your family together, and keep building great memories with the man you love ... just like the one you shared with us!

You aint said nuth'n really bad 'bout the Brother at all ... :lol:

I bet yall dun made another baby by now ... :baby:

Too precious. Thanks again for sharing.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee
Thank you. We did get married last Friday. Our relationship has became so great over the past few weeks. It's been great. And about making more babies, I can't! I know my limit lol. We are good with the 4 we already have. Thanks for the reply.
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C Black People : There Are Sequences To Be Used When Fighting For Our Liberation Black People Open Forum 0
KRAZYK Black People Politics : Why are we still fighting the same fight of racism Black People Politics 22
OldSoul OldSoul : Black, Undocumented And Fighting To Survive OldSoul 2
Clyde C Coger Jr Mauritania : The abolitionist fighting to free Mauritania's slaves Mauritania 0
Clyde C Coger Jr Black People Politics : Dems already fighting over Conyers' Judiciary post Black People Politics 1
Liberty Black People Politics : ‘Fighting Time’—Al Sharpton Rips Donald Trump’s Pick of Jeff Sessions for Attorney General Black People Politics 1
Kemetstry Law Forum : FIGHTING BACK!!! Law Forum - Prisons - Gun Ownership 0
crwn Black People : Why Are African People Such Cowards Always Taking Abuse And Not Fighting Back For Themselves Black People Open Forum 0
Liberty Black People Politics : Is There Any Issue More Important Than Fighting Against Mass Incarceration? Black People Politics 97
Liberty Black People Politics : Google.org gives $2.35 million to groups fighting for racial justice Black People Politics 3
RAPTOR Black People Politics : Jeremy Scahill on Obama's Orwellian War in Iraq: We Created the Very Threat We Claim to be Fighting Black People Politics 6
RAPTOR Black People Politics : Obama Schemes to Attack Syria, Under the Guise of Fighting ISIS Black People Politics 1
jamesfrmphilly Mali : French foreign minister says fighting is escalating in CAR and Mali Mali 3
Gorilla Uganda : The Less Than 1%: How Uganda’s Atheists Are Fighting Back Uganda 1
E Black People Politics : Founding Fathers fighting Against Gun Control From The Grave! Black People Politics 12
cherryblossom Black People : Johnny Lee Savory: Still Fighting For Exoneration Black People Open Forum 2
Keita Kenyatta Black People : Crime Fighting Tintswalo Style Black People Open Forum 2
Ankhur Audio Video Web Conferencing : destee.tv: Dennis Brown, Stop the Fussing and Fighting Borther Audio Video Web Conferencing 0
Ankhur Black People : Fighting Battles to Free People from Dictators? (Yeah Right!) Black People Open Forum 3
Destee Beauty - Hair Care - Fashion : Confession - I'm So Tired of Fighting with My Natural Hair! Beauty - Black Hair Care - Fashion 66
MsInterpret Ghana : Fighting child slavery in Ghana Ghana 2
river Black People : Who Exactly Are We Fighting in Afganistan? Black People Open Forum 9
Ankhur Black People : Can fighting in an unjust war drive one Insane? Black People Open Forum 13
D Destee Network : Fighting Back Against Soaring Prices Destee Network : 1
Corvo Black Authors : Fighting for Honor Short Stories - Authors - Writing 4
Destee Black People : Teacher and Student Fighting Black People Open Forum 2
I Black People : I have enjoyed my stay here, keep fighting white supremecy! Black People Open Forum 2
howardtsu Black Poetry : Fighting to Win Her Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 2
G Black Spirituality Religion : Black Folks fighting outside the CHURCH!-VIDEO Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion 5
G Black People : Boston Globe-THREE YEARS OF FIGHTING in the Darfur region Black People Open Forum 0
Destee Black Education / Schools : The Public Education Experiment in New Orleans - Fighting For The Right To Learn Black Education / Schools 1
$$RICH$$ Black Poetry : Fighting 4 Relief Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 13
T Black Poetry : I'm Fighting Demons Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 5
D African American History Culture : Vet: Fighting Abroad and at Home for US African American History Culture 0
howardtsu Black Poetry : You're Fighting Me Away Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 4
kemetkind Pan Africanism : Fighting for their own oil. African American History Culture 0
howardtsu Black Poetry : Stop Fighting It Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 2
river Black People : We're Not Fighting Under Unusual Odds Black People Open Forum 0
C fighting Black Children 45
R Black Poetry : Fighting Temptation! Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 9
B Black Poetry : Fighting Fire with the Flames of my Fist Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 5
P Black Sports : Evander Holyfield is banned from fighting in NY! Black Sports 18
C Black People : Let's Give Our Babies A Fighting Chance! Black People Open Forum 2
Clyde C Coger Jr Black Spirituality Religion : Losing Religion and Finding Ecstasy in Houston Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion 0
IFE Black Women : Losing a Sister Black Women 6
Miss SelinaUK Audio Video Web Conferencing : Media: Ice Cube says he's not losing sleep over Jerry Heller's death Audio Video Web Conferencing 0
Enki Black Sports : Things White Do to Make Other Whites Feel Better About Losing. Black Sports 5
Gorilla Black Atheists : A Year Without God - A Pastor Ends Losing Job Over an Experiment Atheist Study Group 0
RAPTOR Black People Politics : Obama Losing Black Appeal Black People Politics 203
BrittanyMalachi Black Poetry : Losing My Soul Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On! 0
Similar threads


















































Destee Chat

Latest profile posts

Destee wrote on rhymebad's profile.
@rhymebad ... i love you ... :love: ... what was going wrong about polls and being blocked and stuff?
Destee wrote on pdiane's profile.
Welcome Home Sister! :love:
pdiane wrote on panafrica's profile.
Hey Destee, thank you for still being here! You are loved!
pdiane wrote on panafrica's profile.
I'm Black on Destee, I feel at home! It's been a while! Soooo in 2004 I married my Senegalese Husband, when I first went to Senegal, I loved, it! The people were hospitable and my husband's family was very kind! Well I've been there many times now, have taken African Americans, well over 150 and it has been an amazing experience!
Free as free can be
Top