Black Relationships : A bit of advice?


going above and beyond
Feb 19, 2001
lol ... hahahahahaha ... you know telling him not to say something is like putting his name in the title and lovingly ushering him in ... :shame: ... :lol: ... you really wanted him to speak on this, I know it - 'cause you know he cannot help his self ... :love:

My advice would be that everyone make sure you see and have what you want in the relationship ... and that's with anyone, man or woman ... before getting too deep in it. Oftentimes, we will give all of our "bargaining chips" away, long before there is a meeting of the minds. Make sure you hold on to those things until you have what you want (or clear and convincing evidence they can and are willing to deliver). Even then, after getting a signed contract (in blood), you may have to take them to court to live up to their end of the bargain - but at least you have something to show the judge - why you bet everything on this one person. I think this is applicable for both men and women (and all types of engagements) - but women are often more likely to get heavily vested in the deal prior to their actually being a deal / contract ... :wink:

Most important of all though, is to come out of it with your own whole self, if it does not go all the way you want. So make sure you enjoy it everyday and don't remain too long beyond the time you are enjoying it. Some deals fall through, no biggie, but you cannot let it kill you. So in that regard, if you can walk away of your own volition, under your own power, not needing ambulatory assistance - knowing you enjoyed it all of the days, until you did not ... could possibly be considered a win ... :)

Love You Sweetie!



She did it so I could see it



going above and beyond
Feb 9, 2001
To my younger self: Practice patience, learn about yourself before looking to be with someone, balance romantic notions with common sense, ask your mother questions and really listen to her answers, have courage to be more socially active and experience what it's like to date different (Black) men. Know the difference between lust and love and don't believe everything men or women tell you. Stand your ground and never feel desperate. Trust your instincts. Don't feel like a failure or beat up on yourself if you trusted and loved someone and the relationship didn't work out as you would have hoped. Study what went wrong, learn from it and move forward. You deserve the best that life can offer.

Consciousness Raising Online!

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